Wikipedia:Talk page highlights

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This page contains material which is kept because it is considered humorous.
It is not intended, nor should it be used, for any remotely serious purpose.

Talk page highlights: In the spirit of Wikipedia humor, this page is a repository for some of the strangest exchanges that occur between editors. Please add short quotes that:

Concern articles, lists, or policy discussions.
Are relevant to the article subject.
Arise from legitimate editorial discussion.
Don't insult any particular person.
Don't extend an edit war. (For examples of edit wars, see Wikipedia:Lamest edit wars.)

[edit] Talk:Topfree equality

For one moment, I was expecting something to do with denotational semantics. -- The Anome - 20:30, 27 June 2003

[edit] Priorities Really Far Out Of Whack

((Plautus satire on Talk:Chess [1]. BEST EDIT EVAR - David Gerard 10:37, 29 July 2005 (UTC))

I have just made a few changes to the chess entry and when I get done picking my jaw up off the floor I'll finish typing this... `

\
 *

Okay I'm ready now.

I find it very alarming that no mention was made in the overview that each player has 16 of the pieces for his own, only that there were 32 pieces. Would communists assume each player "owns" half the pieces? Yes, nitpicking, that's what we do here, we pick nits. Also no mention is made that the pieces are differentiated (usually by color though not always) and the squares on the board are also differentiated. There are many pictures, but what about the blind? Let me know if I'm too aggressive hunting nits here. To put it bluntly, that overview sucks a$$...

Scrolling down, however, we find over one hundred links to chess history, chess literature, chess moves, chess games, chess people, chess places, chess everything and this *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* lousy overview.

I think the priorities of people around here are SERIOUSLY out of whack. - Plautus satire 14:54, 25 Feb 2004 (UTC)

[edit] Talk:Deep-fried Mars Bar

I too have eaten a deep-fried Mars bar, but in Wales rather than Scotland. This was a week's school (or rather, CCF) winter hill-walking trip in Snowdonia in December. After a day's slogging up and down Triffan (sp?) in the whirling snow, 3 million deep-fried calories sounded extremely welcome. I enjoyed it then, but I don't know if I would in any other situation.

Oh, and I get the impression that they're a bit more common than John makes out. PeteVerdon 19:07, 8 April 2005 (UTC)

Then truly, mankind is doomed. -- John Fader (talk | contribs) 19:11, 8 Apr 2005 (UTC)

[edit] Talk:Zombie

Does a zombie really engage in cannibalism? Zombies in fiction will eat humans but not other zombies. It seems to me that if a zombie ate a zombie or a human ate a human, both would be cannibalism. But since a zombie is no longer human, a zombie eating a human or a human eating a zombie would not be cannibalism. This argument was pointed out in Dawn of the Dead (1978).--Burzum 4 July 2005 03:10 (UTC)

I think zombies eat brains of humans because maybe zombies have no circulation and they have thermal vision.... --Furbpl (talk) 15:48, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Talk:The Sopranos

I added the following to the criticism section. It's actually quite a nice addition. I'd appreciate a response. thanks. From an analytical perspective, here's a comical summary of the nature of the series thus far: Tony fetched the paper in his robe. Jimmy Altieri was a rat. Meadow needed to shut up. Brendan Filone got whacked. Tony fetched the paper in his robe. Big Pussy was a rat. Meadow needed to shut up. Richie Aprile got whacked. Tony fetched the paper in his robe. Raymond Curto was a rat. Meadow needed to shut up. Jackie Jr. got whacked. Tony fetched the paper in his robe. Jack Massarone was a rat. Meadow needed to shut up. Ralph Cifaretto got whacked. Tony fetched the paper in his robe. Adriana was a rat. Meadow needed to shut up. Tony Blundetto got whacked. And now...the sixth season premiere of The Sopranos. YAY! - Zarbon

This already got deleted (rightfully), but I just want to point out that Tony didn't fetch the paper at the beginning of season five. Tim Jan. 23, 2006 6:56.

- he fetched the paper in season 5 episode "Test Dream" in the plaza hotel, in his robe. so there. - Zarbon

You got that from the Two Tonys TWoP recap by Aaron, didn't you? Sfufan2005 20:23, 23 January 2006 (UTC)

Well spotted. So Zarbon ripped off a Television without Pity recap word for word except for the "Yay!". (which is a commercial copyright breach by the way) here's the link: http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=44&story=6372&limit=&sort=

I didn't rip it off. it's good to add. i'm still wondering as to why it shouldn't be added actually. It pretty much sums up the series so well, it's unmistakingly perfect. I just liked it for the fact that Brendan Filone was mentioned, since he's my alltime favorite character and all. - Zarbon

I think it is only fair that someone take Zarbon out back and shoot him. And of course, pick up a newspaper.

hey, as long as i get shot right in the eye, like Brendan Filone, I'm happy. - Zarbon

[edit] Talk:Rodney King

This article alleges that Rodney King was on PCB even if it goes on to say that tests for PCB came up negative. The article itself refutes the claim. Also the speed King was driving at should be alleged, unless it was proven also. I find the article largely states the point of view of the police report as fact, even if the police were defendants in the issue. That, I think, is wrong. Also this article does little to cite its sources, eg. 'alleged by whom?' - 17:01, 9 February 2006

He was high on printed circuit boards? - 16:56, 13 February 2006

[edit] Talk:Francis Schuckardt/Archive1

Since it is a minority view that Shuckardt is a bishop of the Catholic Church and that his excommunications carry weight, the footnote purporting Denis Chicoine is in hell for eternity is both inappropriate, melodramatic, and hateful. - Bernie Radecki 3/1/2006

[edit] Clearly Non-notable (from Talk:Sun)

I find it highly unlikely that this "sun" is notable. It doesn't even appear to have its own website, as sun.com is a link to a computer hardware company. Furthermore, I believe it may be a hoax, based on the existence of this garage band's myspace account: http://www.myspace.com/thesun . I'm unsure whether to simply add a speedy deletion tag, or use the full AfD procedure. Your thoughts? --Xyzzyplugh 01:47, 20 March 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Talk:Gasoline

Did anyone ever think of calling the article "Gasoline (petrol)" or conversely, "Petrol (gasoline)"? Wouldn't that be a compromise? Stevage 13:55, 22 May 2006 (UTC)

I'll compromise with this as soon as Orange (colour) gets changed to Orange (hue or color or colour since Wikipedia can't come to a consesnus on spelling) Hbdragon88 00:45, 30 May 2006 (UTC)

How about gasouline? ;-) Doovinator 02:38, 2 June 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Talk:Bradlees

Since this store went bankrupt, do I still have to repay the credit card?? - 23:31, 2 June 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Talk:Mammary intercourse

For those of you who enjoy playing 6 degrees of separation, you may attempt to find out how I got from Asian Elephant to this article. But I digress. I was just wondering about this sentence, in the introduction:

"As long as the semen is cleaned using soap and hot water, it is a form of safer sex with a low risk of leading to pregnancy."

Now, I may be reading too much into this, but the above seems to imply that if semen is left on someone's lovelies, it might just be absorbed into the skin, pass through many layers of fat, muscle and tissue, and end up depositing itself in the vagina. Leading to pregnancy and all the horrors that follow.

I don't think I know anyone short enough to have trouble keeping semen away from their bajingo, when it's on their boobies.

I'm not joking, I'm honestly wondering what this sentence is trying to tell me. — riana_dzasta • t • c 14:20, 9 July 2006 (UTC)

The sentence looks like it should be split in two...there is some risk of disease transmission with semen to any part of the body (Herpes Simplex 2, for one), but I don't think anyone thinks that the sperm can migrate and cause pregnancy. --Kickstart70-T-C 15:10, 9 July 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Takeru Kobayashi

He is clearly the greatest competetive eater of all time. Not to start a wiki war but unless someone comes up with a good argument for not including this, I'm changing it--Pbasu 18:19, 6 August 2006 (UTC)

It is difficult to use the phrase "of all time" in any claim. It is far more accurate to use "in written history". How do we know there wasn't a greater competitive eater in prehistoric times? --Kainaw ^(talk) 15:10, 7 November 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Talk:Ted Haggard

Hopefully my final comment - for us to call him gay or bi (or put him in those categories) would be our attempt to "set the record straight" (pardon the pun). That is not our job as editors, in fact it conflicts with our job. Putting him in a category like "Preachers married to women who have had extensive sex with men" would be NPOV, but putting him in the "Gay Preachers" category would be POV. At least based on how things are today. Again, there are alot of opinions gay media that have not been included in the article yet. They are making similar claims about Ted and that viewpoint belongs in the article. Mr Christopher 22:42, 10 November 2006 (UTC)

can we start that category?--Chalyres 22:44, 10 November 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Cubic zirconia

[edit] Move for deletion?

My wife found out that her ring was cubic zirconia. I told her that that meant it was extra rare and valuable. I propose we delete this article, or I am in some serious shit. She is a big wikipedia user and she might see this page, but I don't want to vandalize... Please :( —Preceding unsigned comment added by Oreo man (talk • contribs)

Sorry, I'm afraid you're doomed. Tuck your head down and kiss the boys goodbye, is all the advice I can offer! --Grey Knight ⊖ 04:06, 23 November 2006 (UTC)

You don't have a special right to request an article's deletion just because you screwed up. But you have to say, cubic zirconia is shiny, and we all know people can't resist shiny objects. :D The First Doll 07:37, 1 December 2006 (UTC)

Sorry, you're screwed. But I do agree that cubic zirconium is shiny. --science4sail ^talkcon 02:36, 31 January 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Talk:Zoophilia

Not all people who have sex with animals are zoophiles. But we can discuss the title. "Zoonoses and sex with animals", "Health aspects of sexual acts with animals" or "Zoonotic aspects of sexual acts with animals" is probably about as neutral as it gets. Would you be okay with that? FT2 ^{(Talk | email)} 21:14, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Talk:Orange (fruit)

Sectioned navel orange. The underdeveloped twin is located on the bottom right.

The following appears to be a conversation about the image at left.

[edit] Unflattering Picture of a Sectioned Orange

I think this picture is unflattering if not disgusting. Who would want to eat an orange after seeing that picture? I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it were inserted by somebody in the apple industry (known to be unscrupulous) or somebody with an extreme dislike of oranges. A picture that unflattering does not occur by mistake and I'm quite certain there is an agenda behind it. I know that this page is meant to be informative and not pro-orange, but that picture is treading into the dangerous territory of being anti-orange. I'm not saying that we should use the most flattering picture of a sectioned orange available on the 'net, but surely a compromise can be reached. I nominate that it be removed or changed in favor of a more neutral picture. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 216.164.60.98 (talk • contribs)

Yes this is clearly a far-malus conspiracy to drive down orange sales among the compulsive wikipedia browsing population. Please take whatever action you feel is necessary to restore the vital balance of presentation so that the prolitariate may once again rejuice. - JustinWick 19:01, 23 January 2007 (UTC)

I think the picture is acceptable, and I think it is difficult for a picture to be neutral. Note that the same IP address also believes that oranges do not grow on trees WLU 19:03, 23 January 2007 (UTC)

I do not think you truely grasp the extent to which apple fans will go to sabotage their competition. I hereby declare that all images of oranges on Wikipedia should be examined for NPOVness. 216.164.60.98, why don't you get on this ASAP? - JustinWick 21:28, 23 January 2007 (UTC)

WLU - That is disingenuous and a complete misrepresentation of anything I've ever posted. Of course oranges grow on trees. I have a lot of knowledge of and experience with oranges. I simply made the point that there are those who remain unconvinced - and those people do exist. If you don't think that's worth noting, then fine, I can live with that. But that's not really what we're talking about right now. Anyhow, if I can find a more flattering picture do you really mind if I change it? JustinWick sees exactly what I am talking about (lol @ rejuice!). I am not about to accuse you of being the person who posted the offending picture or of being involved in the apple industry, but my antenna is up. Cheers!—The preceding unsigned comment was added by 04:09, January 24, 2007 216.164.60.98 (talk • contribs).

All the power to you if you can find a better picture of an orange. The rest of your contributions are POV, unsourced and use weasel words. WLU

[edit] Template talk:Db-banned

I am Margo Baker, Unknown Hinson's manager. Please delete this link. We no longer are associated with this club. [email deleted]@unknownhinson.com - 17:24, 4 February 2007 (UTC)

[edit] George Washington (inventor)

[edit] Pic

An approximation of Mr. Washington's appearence based on available historical information.

In lieu of contemporary photographs or paintings, here is an artist's rendition of Washington, with coffee. --Jeffrey O. Gustafson - Shazaam! - <*> 15:46, 31 March 2007 (UTC)

You know, if you've read the article recently, he should really have a monkey sitting on his shoulder :)--Pharos 15:56, 31 March 2007 (UTC)

♥♥♥ ShadowHalo 20:13, 31 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Talk:Homer's Phobia

The Wikipedia Gay Lobby must be revelling in this article. Articles such as this clearly demonstrate that advocates of homosexuality intend to strongly affect children, knowing that young people are easily influenced. Also, by emphasizing it as a feature article, the damage is maximized. Wikipedia should be ashamed of itself.Lestrade 19:56, 27 July 2007 (UTC)Lestrade

What? Take your anti-homosexualness (is that even a word?) elsewhere, thankyou. Gran² 20:00, 27 July 2007 (UTC)

Are you listening to what you're saying, Lestrade? How can you possibly have an opinion like that? You make it sound being homosexual is the end of the world. We live in the 21st century. Grow up. Metty 20:06, 27 July 2007 (UTC)

I think he may be kidding... Ab e g92contribs 20:14, 27 July 2007 (UTC)

We live in the 21st century. Grow up. This is proof that homosexuals are succeeding in making their psychosexual aberration seem acceptable. They have systematically achieved this through the entertainment media, which appeals to younger generations. Wikipedia is encouraging this by giving such articles a featured article status. It is ironic that Metty tells me to grow up. The reason for the irony is that homosexuality is, itself, adolescent behavior that is exhibited by immature persons. Mature people grow past that stage into normal, healthy, natural heterosexuality.Lestrade 21:31, 27 July 2007 (UTC)Lestrade

Gee, thanks for your wonderful insight, Fred. Tony Myers 23:06, 27 July 2007 (UTC)

The truly sad thing is, he's not kidding. Freshacconci 21:35, 27 July 2007 (UTC)

This is really love and all, but take it somewhere else. The talk page is the place to discuss improving articles, and comments stating an article should not become featured (re: that an article should not be improved) aren't productive. If there is something in the article that promotes homosexuality, then please point it out, though you should note that the subject of an article promoting homosexuality and the article itself promoting homosexuality are two very different matters. And if you're going to go on tangential rants about the gay cabal, then find somewhere off-wiki to do it. 17Drew 23:43, 27 July 2007 (UTC)

Ahem! CaveatLector^Talk 15:21, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

Won't somebody please think of the children! Freshacconci 15:36, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

Well I applaud Lestrade's comments. It shows they've been thinking about homosexuality and gay issues a lot! It's hard in a world full of change to assert what is normal and therefore needs defending - bravo! Benjiboi 22:41, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

Official statement from the gay cabal, if there was one, which there isn't: There is no gay cabal. At all. There is no, I repeat no, massive conspiracy of hundreds of editors across several continents scheming via talkpage and hidden IRC channel (which if it existed, which it doesn't, would called #evilgaycabal, and the password to it would be "Mariah!") to carefully construct Wikipedia articles in such a manner that innocent young ~~recruits~~ children reading them will suddenly be possessed of an urge to wear pink (or flannel) and watch Queer as Folk (or The L Word) five times in a row before our crack Faery teams swoop down on them and carry them off to our perverted nests high up in the Brokeback Mountains for unnatural instruction in lisping and DIY. No conspiracy at all. And there is no "gay cabal". In fact, the words gay cabal don't exist. You're imagining it. And yes we would revelling in the article right now if we existed, which we don't. Well done Gran, if he existed, which he doesn't. All hail Xenu!(if he was real, but he really, REALLY isn't). Signed (or not), Dev920, Supreme Mugwump, if there was such a position, but there's not, of the Wikipedian Gay Lobby ™, if there was one, which there isn't. But if there was, would we tell you? 22:53, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Talk:Main Page

There is clearly a great deal of confusion here. The Battle of Trafalgar was in 1805, well after both acts of union. Why he chose to signal "England" rather than something more accurate is not known to me, although clearly it would have been a considerable pain in the arse to signal "The United Kingdom Of Great Britain and Ireland Expects That Every Man Will Do His Duty" in semaphore. I'd still like Tourskin to point me to the discussions that provide reliable sources that the island of Great Britain (or the wider UK) was referred to habitually as "England" at the time - to the best of my knowledge, that just isn't true. One naval order on one day from Admiral Nelson does not a paradigm make. Badgerpatrol 14:25, 19 August 2007 (UTC)

[edit] He was just trying to follow policy...

After I sternly warned an IP about attempting to have Ham speedy-deleted, he left this on my talk page:

Hello sir!

I am thanking you for alerting my attention to this new deletion process. I was being under the aware of prod being the proper method to nominate article for delete. I am not vandal - I want improve wikipedia by deleting false ham article. I have not hear of this meat in my entire life. I am sure it is not notable enough for this great encyclopedia!

Thank you, and I will follow proper procedure from now on! Thank you! 67.60.57.82 02:54, 14 August 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Talk:Courtney Love

Could we possibly get a blurrier image of the side of her drunken face? I think that would really help the article. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Crash2108 (talk • contribs) 00:24, 27 October 2007 (UTC) Somehow, I don't agree Chickpeaface 11:58, 27 October 2007 (UTC)

I lolled. Wardrich (talk) 07:13, 27 November 2007 (UTC)

(See this former infobox pic.)

[edit] Wikipedia:Village pump (miscellaneous)

Vulgar advertistement on your news programs

  I want to object to the Mo Money ad you're running on your news shows on WPTY

and WLMT. Disgusting. Pls trash it. M from Memphis —Preceding unsigned comment added by 208.63.180.18 (talk) 15:35, 3 January 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Talk:Anthony Kiedis

"Around this time he revealed that he considered himself to be bisexual and that he was having a non-romantic sexual relationship with band mate Anthony Kiedis; the two were often to be seen kissing or fondling one another in public and in fact had a high-sexual kiss in the video "Warped"."

http://www.onlineseats.com/dave-navarro-tickets/index.asp

I disagree. Anthony has said many times that he only kissed in the video to shock people, and there was no relationship of any kind involved. Besides, he's cute!!!!

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but are you saying that Anthony couldn't be bi, because "he's cute!!!!"? I just want to make sure I'm reading that right... 74.77.98.235 (talk) 05:48, 7 January 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Talk:Homeopathy

If one group of editors were to say the Earth is flat and another group were to say it is round, it would not benefit Wikipedia for the groups to compromise and say the Earth is shaped like a calzone. Raymond Arritt (talk) 05:09, 26 January 2008 (UTC)

But what a delicious compromise it would be! Baegis (talk) 05:12, 26 January 2008 (UTC)

With a soft red wine (the pro-homeopathy editors get their wine diluted 30X). Raymond Arritt (talk) 05:26, 26 January 2008 (UTC)

Remember, I contend that any light beer brewed in the United States, is actually homeopathic beer, because it's been diluted so much, that anyone drinking it, only imagines that it's really beer. But it makes one urinate like it was beer. OrangeMarlin ^{Talk• Contributions} 06:33, 26 January 2008 (UTC)

Simply because the water it contains has retained the memory of the urine it once was. •Jim62sch• 07:01, 26 January 2008 (UTC)

I thought so. Well, that pretty much sums up both Light Beer and Homeopathy. Neither of them are very good. OrangeMarlin ^{Talk• Contributions} 07:04, 26 January 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Proposed Wikipedia:Today's featured article/January 31, 2008

The greatness of User:Raul654 is overwhelming, as portrayed by his contributions. He deserves to feature himself. Raul has been a bureaucrat for some time here on Wikipedia, and is doing an excellent job!

Join in taking a moment to honour him.

Mark won in a landslide victory in spite of all those who opposed him. He has done his tasks with diligence and upheld the honour and standards of Wikipedia.

Recently featured: – Motörhead, Archimedes, Battle of Ramillies

[edit] User talk:jc37

Added per request. Click the link. The effect of the text to affect should speak for itself. : ) - jc37 22:03, 21 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] See also

Categories: Wikipedia humor