Talk:Lambuth University
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I removed the following from the notable alumni... if any of these people are real, feel free to add them back with reasonable descriptions not involving cybernetic parts or mythical exploits (unless, of course, you can provide appropriate references for those things):
- Cory Clayton Hill - The face of Adonis, hands of a midget, and the belly of a beached walrus. Once drank a quart of beer through his index finger.
- Andrew Lathum Hughes - Beastly TE during Golden Era. Retarded person strong. Built like a Tahoe with hair.
- Chad S/N 34783J Goodrich - Former Lambuth Football player. Cyborg. Performed stunt work in the Terminator trilogy. Removable skull plate contains entire ratchet set and tie down ropes.
- John Jeremiah Miller - Half Man/Half Pizza. His vital organs are exact duplicates of a cold cut combo at Subway. Enjoys swimming in a pool filled with cottage cheese and eating fried mayonaisse balls by the dozen.
- Rodney Ishmail Scott - Raised Baptist, grew up thinking he was Catholic, but actual religion is Atheism. Was recently voted 10,142nd most hated person in the history of the United States, just ahead of every member of every Notre Dame team ever fielded. Is currently being investigated for providing Barry Bonds with steroids directly from his forehead sweat.
- Trey O'Donohoe - A human sized, single-celled Staph virus that walks the earth in the shape of a deformed leprechaun. Currently being considered as the villian in Spiderman 4. Best friend is a can of Beef Stew.
- Joel Christopher Jones - Greatest football player in the history of the NAIA. Insatiable sexual appetite. The log cabin at the front of Lambuth's campus....he's had sex with it. Routinely walked naked through the halls of the Athletic Center in front of his white teammates. All of these are true stories.
- Mr.T - While he's not being a politician or boring people to death, he spends his spare time killing people with automatic weapons and shaving his chest hair with Bic disposables. His back yard includes a swimming pool shaped like a man's ass filled with Hershey's syrup.
Pinball22 20:03, 24 October 2006 (UTC)
