Jewish mother stereotype

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Sheila Broflovski
Sheila Broflovski

The Jewish mother stereotype is a common stereotype and stock character used by Jewish comedians, usually when discussing (fictionally or not) their mothers. The stereotype generally involves a nagging, overprotective, and overbearing mother, one who is often getting involved in her children's lives long after they have grown up.[1]

Contents

[edit] Origin

A possible origin of this stereotype is anthropologist Margaret Mead's research into the European shtetl, financed by the American Jewish Committee. Although her interviews at Columbia University with 128 European-born Jews disclosed a wide variety of family structures and experiences, the publications resulting from this study and the many citations in the popular media resulted in the Jewish mother stereotype, intensely loving but controlling to the point of smothering, and engendering enormous guilt in her children through the endless suffering she professed to undertake for their sakes. [2]

Interestingly, in Israel, the stereotype is often called "Polish mother", meaning that Polish-Jewish mothers often act like that more than other Jewish mothers.[citation needed]

[edit] Characteristics

Stereotypical activities of a Jewish mother include:

  • Worrying about the day to day movements, relationships and income of her offspring, even (and usually) when they are fully grown adults;
  • Overprotecting and taking a concern in the welfare of her offspring to such an extent that it becomes ridiculous, activities may range from sending strudel in the post up to her children when they are at university, calling them on a day to day basis, expressing interest as to whether they are 'eating well' or if they have 'done their washing,' and not letting them do anything that she perceives as 'unsafe,' or 'dangerous,' even if the chances of danger are ridiculously small.
  • Usually very skilled in the kitchen, often making meals of kosher quality in excessive proportions.
  • Often getting in the way of the relationships of her offspring, often expressing much distaste and bitterness towards the man that her daughter is in a relationship with unless he is earning a large income.
  • Often setting up her sons with various women she deems fit, and making suggestions to her sons and daughters of potential partners.
  • Taking excessive pride in the achievements of her offspring. This is most apparent when in conversation with other (usually Jewish) women her own age, often making references to "My son, the lawyer... ", or "My son, the doctor...".
  • Persistent nagging of her children if she considers them to have underachieved academically or financially, or if they remain unmarried.
  • (S)mothering her children, even when they have grown up. The effect, according to Philip Roth in Portnoy's Complaint, is that "a Jewish man with parents alive is a fifteen-year-old boy and will remain a fifteen-year-old boy until the day he (or his parents) dies."
  • Stresses being respected and honored by her children. Hence, the classic dismissal of Freudian theory: "Oedipus shmoedipus! A boy shouldn't love his mother?"
  • Want their sons to be doctors or lawyers when they grow up.
  • Often interrupts people.
  • Manipulates children through the use of guilt, as in the old joke:
    • Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
    • A: (with mournful Yiddish accent) Don't worry about me; I'll just sit here in the dark.

Presumably this "syndrome" of a strong mother figure is in part the result of the traditional Jewish philosophy of the man running the "external" world of business and politics, and the woman running the "internal" world of family and household.

[edit] Appearances in popular media

The character plays a role in many of the works by filmmaker Woody Allen, including Oedipus Wrecks, his contribution to New York Stories. Prime examples also include:

The topic is also mentioned by Lewis Black in his 2005 Carnegie Hall performance. The internet strip Alien Loves Predator features an Alien Jewish mother character. Adverts for British Telecom in the 1980s featured Maureen Lipman in the role of Beattie, popularly accepted to be such a Jewish Mother.

[edit] References

  1. ^ Rachel Josefowitz. Jewish Mothers Tell Their Stories: Acts of Love and Courage. ISBN 0789010992. 
  2. ^ The Jewish Mother, Slate, June 13, 2007

[edit] See also

[edit] Bibliography

  • How to Be a Jewish Mother: A Very Lovely Training Manual by Dan Greenburg; published by Price, Stern, Sloan; distributed by Pocket Books [New York (1964)] ASIN: B0007EN0II
  • You Never Call! You Never Write!: A History of the Jewish Mother by Joyce Antler; 336 pages; published by Oxford University Press [USA, (February 26, 2007)]; ISBN-10: 0195147871; ISBN-13: 978-0195147872
  • The Jewish Mother, Slate slideshow, June 13, 2007
Languages