User talk:Jayen466/Prem Rawat

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Some comments:

• It is a good start
• There is a bit too much editorializing, and in places you get too close to WP:SYN for comfort
• The name of the section is not neutral. "Westernization" will do nicely
• The use of "nevertheless", "however", and such is more suitable to an essay or a paper than for a Wikipedia article
• Too much reliance on Mishler, when he was there just for a short time
• Most statements read as if these were facts, when actually these are opinions. Facts can describe as such, but opinions need to be attributed to these that hold them

Hope this helps. ≈ jossi ≈ (talk) 16:11, 8 March 2008 (UTC)

Thanks Jossi. Yes, I noticed that many of the Mishler bits were actually Nik's OR or SYN and not supported by the sources he cited. Those bits will go out again. Unfortunately I have rather a lot of work today and tomorrow, so I can only get to it once in a while when I take half an hour off. And it occurred to me too that much is conjecture or interpretation and needs to be attributed to the authors. It's a delicate process. Jayen466 19:26, 10 March 2008 (UTC)