Talk:Great Northern Brewery, Dundalk
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[edit] POV problems
I tagged this article as {{npov}}, but it might perhaps have been more appropriate to tag it as {{peacock}} or {{advert}}. It's a well-written article, but at several points it seems to lapse a into what appears to be boosterism. Here's a few examples:
- "The present day brewery has been part of the town’s commercial life since 1960, but the local tradition of brewing goes back for many centuries."
... this is slightly purple prose, and it's unclear. If the brewery was finded in 1960, best to say so directly. "the local tradition of brewing goes back for many centuries" -- what does this mean? Is the GN a rebranding of an earlier brewery, or a merger, or does this mean that there were other previous breweries in the area?
- "Up to that time, the brewery had produced stout and ale."
... so it wasn't acutually founded in 1960?
- "However, in response to demand for a quality domestic lager"
... the Irish people were told "you're out of luck, we've only got Harp". :)
Seriously, though, it'd be better to leave out the word "quality"
- "By 1964 it was being sold on draught and quickly lead its category in sales"
... when did it start leading in sales, and what category was it leading? (Presumably not just the category of "sales in Ballyporeen of lagers brewed in Dundalk by partially-owned subsiduaries of Guinness" ;)
- "Dr. Herman Muendar, a distinguished German "Braumeister" was chosen to manage the new venture. He was eminently suited to the task"
- Who says that he was distinguished and that he was eminently suitable? Without independent sources, this is puffery
- "Within 12 months of launch in 1960, Harp had become a household brand throughout Ireland."
- What does "a household brand" mean? Sounds like vague puffery
- "This success meant that the brewery’s capacity had to expand tenfold to meet demand."
- Over what period? And ten times what?
- "The story of the Dundalk brewery is one of continuous improvement and innovation"
- Blatant puffery
- "The brewery has implemented state-of-the art processes. Industry leading technological infrastructure has led to increased productivity in the brewhouse. All stages of the brewing process are monitored technically to ensure the highest standards, as well as being checked by the skilled tasting staff"
- More puffery. E.g., rather than saying "state-of-the art processes", describe what the processes are
A lot of the content appears to be sourced from http://www.diageo.ie/Company/Brewing/Dundalk/CompanyBrewingDundalk/ and more neutral sources wouls likely give a more balanced picture.
Sorry if this sounds a bit harsh, but hope it helps. --BrownHairedGirl (talk) • (contribs)
- Well done with the cleanup. Much better now :) --BrownHairedGirl (talk) • (contribs) 18:40, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Bold I am
I think this is now neutral-ish. An bhfuil aon rudai airithe agat le cuir isteach an? Would you like to add/change anything? Work away? Thats whats its for! Fribbler (talk) 01:09, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Marketing and the Harp
Article reads: "Ironically there is no longer an actual Harp on the design of the new tins and bottles as that logo belongs to Guinness" (my emphasis). This implies that there is some kind of constraint on the use of the harp. But there isn't, since Harp and Guinness are both Diageo brands. I suggest removing everything after "bottles". Vernacula (talk) 15:22, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
