Talk:Familial hypercholesterolemia

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Good article Familial hypercholesterolemia has been listed as one of the Natural sciences good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can delist it, or ask for a reassessment.
May 15, 2008 Good article nominee Listed
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Contents

[edit] Menion of genetic groups most affected?

In reading other articles about this genetic disease on the web, i have noticed population studies that mention that FH is most common in certain racial/genetic groups, namely Finns & Icelanders, Ashkenazi Jews, Lebanese Christians, and some Afrikaans populations in South Africa. Might it be a good idea to mention such things here? I think so, but am not qualified to do so. Just sign me, "Another Ashkenazi Jew with an LDL of 200, chronic Achilles tendonitis, and a family history of Angina, CAD, and Myocardial Infarction." 64.142.90.32 (talk) 16:45, 15 December 2007 (UTC)

A good source would be needed, but I agree that this needs to be brought up. JFW | T@lk 10:43, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
PMID 9853432 - molecular epidemiology. Can't see the paper from home (1998, need to order it from the library). JFW | T@lk 21:44, 3 February 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Statins in children

PMID 17569881 discusses the use of statins in children with FH. JFW | T@lk 10:43, 3 February 2008 (UTC)

[edit] More genes

PMID 18262040 - some more genes doing LDL, not quite the same as the LDL receptor though. JFW | T@lk 23:35, 12 February 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Brown & Goldstein

Surely a 1986 publication is not going to be an example of work that led to them winning the Nobel Prize. Which is the most representative paper from their 1970s work? JFW | T@lk 20:12, 28 February 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Children with FH (heterozygous)

Useful JRSM article by Durrington: Full text at PMC: 1079462 JFW | T@lk 13:36, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Diagnostic criteria

WHO 1998 http://whqlibdoc.who.int/hq/1998/WHO_hgn_fh_CONS_98.7.pdf JFW | T@lk 23:52, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Added class V mutation in LDL-R

This mutation is already in the page for LDL-R.82.10.78.130 (talk) 09:55, 6 May 2008 (UTC)

The problem is, even the LDLR page doesn't provide a source. JFW | T@lk 10:49, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
Possible source: http://atvb.ahajournals.org/cgi/content/full/19/2/408 JFW | T@lk 09:47, 13 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Before going to GAC

Two more things to do before going to GAC:

  • Reviewing PMID 18402545 - if it contains actual trial data on interventions (with good endpoint data) will include this in the article.
  • Reviewing the WHO document for anything important we are not presently discussing.

Other comments invited. JFW | T@lk 14:21, 13 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] PR

Hi, saw the request for a peer review on WT:MED. Very well done! Good job explaining terms for laypeople. A few comments:

  • "leads to atherosclerosis, the underlying cause of cardiovascular disease." Should this be "of some cardiovascular diseases", "the underlying cause of cardiovascular disease resulting from this condition" or something? There's many causes of cardiovascular disease.
    • JFW: atherosclerosis is the underlying cause of all cardiovascular disease. JFW | T@lk 10:13, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
  • I would create a single, separate paragraph under "Signs and symptoms" for the discussion of cardiac-related symptoms. Also, that way you don't have the one sentence paragraph about risks. "Coronary artery disease is more common than other forms of cardiovascular disease in FH" sounds kind of tacked on at the end of that paragraph. If you don't give the heart stuff its own paragraph, maybe integrate this sentence into the discussion of cardiovascular disease, e.g. by saying, "...cardiovascular disease, of which coronary artery disease is the most common form." That way you keep the coronary artery topic together within that paragraph.
    • Y Done I have kept the content in the same paragraph without resorting to a subsection, but I have placed more emphasis on Durrington's observation that CAD is more common than other cardiovascular diseases. JFW | T@lk 16:03, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
  • This sentence is hard to understand: "Lipid infiltration and consequent thickening can cause aortic stenosis if the aortic root (supravalvular) or aortic valve is involved." You may want to define "Lipid infiltration" and put the anatomy terms in layman's terms.
    • Y Done by Steven. JFW | T@lk 16:03, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
  • I think MOS recommends en dashes (–) rather than hyphens (-) for number ranges. In percent ranges, only the last number has a % sign (e.g. 50–80%, not 50%-80%).
    • Y Done Thanks for clarifying that. JFW | T@lk 16:03, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Define xanthomata under "differential diagnosis".
    • JFW: Is the plural of xanthoma. Will need to clarify. JFW | T@lk 10:13, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
    • Y Done Changed it to an English plural. JFW | T@lk 16:03, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Link the first use of unusual measurements, such as kb and Mb.
    • Y Done I think. JFW | T@lk 16:03, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
  • "It comprises 18 exons and spans 45kb, and the gene product contains 839 amino acids in mature form." What is a mature form of a nucleic acid?
    • Y Done Mature form of the protein. Will need clarification. JFW | T@lk 10:13, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Non breaking spaces between numbers and units.
  • "In LDL receptor mutations, this is the mechanism behind the receptor malfunctioning; in ApoB mutations, this is due to reduced binding of LDL particles to the receptor." It's not clear what the second this is referring to.
  • "The degree of atherosclerosis roughly depends of the amount of LDL receptors" Is amount the right word? What about 'the number of receptors'?
    • Y Done JFW: That is probably wrong. Will need revision. JFW | T@lk 10:13, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
  • "In more serious forms, the homozygous form, the receptor is not expressed at all." Should this be "In more serious forms, such as the homozygous form..."? Or "In the more serious form, the homozygous form"?
    • Y Done clarified - some homozygotes still express some poorly functional receptors, while others have no LDL receptor at all. JFW | T@lk 03:40, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
  • "this provides a liver with "normal" LDL receptors" —Just curious, why is "normal" in quotation marks?
    • Y Done JFW: Fixed. JFW | T@lk 03:40, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
  • "Gene therapy could be a possible future alternative"— Too many qualifiers IMO. 'Is possible' is just as safe.
    • Y Done JFW: Fixed. JFW | T@lk 03:40, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
  • "...it is sometimes necessary to treat adolescents or sometimes even teenagers"—Too many sometimes's. Sometimes is so vague it's not that useful anyway.
    • Y Done JFW: seems to have been fixed. JFW | T@lk 03:40, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Citation needed for "In most populations studied, heterozygous FH occurs in about 1:500 people, but not all develop symptoms" and all sentences with statistics. If it's the same ref as the next sentence, consider a semicolon to combine the shortish sentences.
    • Y Done This is all from Rader, but Durrington says much the same. JFW | T@lk 03:40, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
  • "...because of a genetic phenomenon known as the founder effect"—It's good that 'founder effect' is wikilinked, but might be even better to give a little parenthetical explanation of what it is so the reader doesn't have to leave your article.
    • Y Done JFW: sorted. JFW | T@lk 03:40, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Very short sections are discouraged. Maybe rather than having the two sentence section "Screening", you could integrate those sections into diagnosis. Maybe you could call it "screening and diagnosis".
    • JFW: No, WP:MEDMOS suggests a separate section for screening. In this case, one form of screening is linked to diagnosis (case finding) but the other form of screening is proposed at population level and has no bearing on the investigation of current patients. JFW | T@lk 10:13, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Similarly, maybe you could add a couple sentences to the "History" section.
    • JFW: Will try to. JFW | T@lk 10:13, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Looks like some of the references are primary sources, I'd stay away from them per WP:PSTS.
    • JFW: Some primary sources are very recent, and have not yet been incorporated into secondary reviews. The fact that they have appeared in core journals like BMJ, The Lancet and NEJM makes them relatively suitable as a source. The other references are historical sources that need to be maintained for interest's sake. JFW | T@lk 10:13, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

These are all just suggestions, if you know of a reason not to implement them that's fine. Overall very well done, nice treatment of a complex topic. Excellent work on references, well-written. Easy for the lay reader to understand on the whole, though anything you can do to make it more so would be great. Personally, I think it's GA-worthy now. delldot talk 05:02, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for your review, Delldot. I will leave comments above (marked JFW) and try to implement most of your recommendations over the course of today. I am still reading the sources above, and may still do further expansion. Also many thanks to Stevenfruitsmaak (talk · contribs) for identifying some important recent papers and incorporating them. JFW | T@lk 10:13, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
Great, thanks for the fixes and explanations, I'm fine with everything. You might want to add a couple sentences to the screening section too if there's more available. delldot talk 20:35, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] GA review

Figured I'd review this since I'd already read it and all. It's very good and I was looking forward to passing it no problem, but ran into one minor, easily fixable hitch. Here's the breakdown of my assessment.

  1. Well written?: No major problems, very readable, especially for an article on a topic so complex and technical.
  2. Factually accurate?: Well referenced. Use of the few primary sources has been explained above, no major facts missing citations.
  3. Broad in coverage?: Appears to cover every major aspect of the condition, doesn't go into unnecessary detail.
  4. Neutral point of view?: No NPOV problems.
  5. Article stability? No stability problems.
  6. Images?: Image:HMG-CoA reductase pathway.png looks like it needs a tweak of the copyright tag. Looks like just a matter of switching a template. I'm not sure how big a deal this is, but I'm gonna hold this till it's fixed to be safe. Sorry, I should have checked this when doing the review. But it shouldn't be hard to fix.

Excellent work! Sorry to hold this on such a minor thing. Gimme a heads up when you're ready for me to re-review. delldot talk 05:46, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Y Done Image rights updated. Sorry, was simply unaware that there was a problem. JFW | T@lk 09:09, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
Great work, sorry to have held it up on such a minor thing. I've passed it now. Congratulations! delldot talk 14:21, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] A couple more suggestions

Guess I missed a few on my first read through.

  • Introduce the ApoB term on first use, or let on that it will be discussed later.
    • Y Done - it is already in the intro but I added ApoB there for clarity. JFW | T@lk 09:34, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Why is it sometimes LDL-receptors and sometimes LDL receptors?
    • Y Done - the dash is wrong and has been removed JFW | T@lk 09:34, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
  • "Other surgical techniques include partial ileal bypass surgery and portocaval shunt surgery." Might want to explain what these types of surgery are, since the links are red. delldot talk 05:46, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
    • Y Done - have too little knowledge of these procedures to write stubs, but will try at some point. JFW | T@lk 09:34, 15 May 2008 (UTC)