You have two cows

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"You have two cows" is the beginning phrase for a series of political joke definitions.

Contents

[edit] Background

"You have two cows" jokes originated as a parody of the typical examples used in introductory-level economics course material and featuring a farmer in a moneyless society who uses the cattle that he owns in order to trade with his neighbors. A typical example is: "You have two cows; you want chickens; you set out to find another farmer who has chickens and wants a cow". These examples are meant to show the limitations of the barter system, leading to the eventual introduction of currency and money.

The "two cows" parodies, however, place the cow-owner in a fully fledged economic system where cows are used as a metaphor for all currency, capital, means of production and economic property (all assumed to be owned by a private individual, not owned jointly as in non-capitalist communities). The intent of these jokes is usually to point out flaws and absurdities in those systems, although non-political jokes have been derived from them (see below).[1][2][3][4][5]

An early example of and arguably even the origin of this genre is a monologue by comedian Pat Paulsen on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour in the late 1960s. This material was later used as a thematic element of his first satirical US presidential campaign in 1968, and was included on his 1968 comedy album Pat Paulsen for President.[6]

[edit] Examples

  • Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to someone else.
  • Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and evenly distributes the milk.
  • Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

[edit] See also

[edit] References

  1. ^ Guevarra, Argee (June 4, 1997). "Future Tense: e-jokes" (subscription required). BusinessWorld. ISSN 01163930. ProQuest document ID: 84519297, Source type: Periodical. “praises the joke and gives versions from various countries/economic systems” 
  2. ^ Melnick, Rick (August 2001). "Bovinus economicus" (subscription required). American Vegetable Grower 49 (8): 42. Willoughby. ISSN 07419848. ProQuest document ID: 77628668, Source type: Periodical. “presents the joke” 
  3. ^ "Enronism Avenue Of The Americas [USA edition]" (January 10, 2002). Financial Times: 13. ISSN 03071766. ProQuest document ID: 98859339. Source type: Newspaper (subscription required). “adds Enron version of two cows joke” 
  4. ^ "Insider Column" (subscription required) (January 17, 2002): 1. Thailand, distributed by Knight Ridder Tribune Business News. Washington: Bangkok Post. ProQuest document ID: 100120779 Source type: Wire Feed. “four new 2 cows jokes relevant to world economic issues” 
  5. ^ Plender, John (April 14, 2003). "Texan bull" (subscription required). Financial Times (London 1st Edition): 24. ISSN 03071766. ProQuest document ID: 324166071. “talks about Enron version of joke” 
  6. ^ "Pat Paulsen for President" - album info and review. LiveDaily Store. Retrieved on 2007-12-18. “...included in this collection: "Two Cows," where the various systems of government are explained with the useful illustration of two cows...”