User:Xcentaur/Funny/New Rave Football

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New Rave Football is the proffered sport of New Ravers. It was created in 2006 by Sandrinne in Dulwich Park. From there it has grown to a national sport played by over 6 people.

[edit] Rules

Players must be dressed in appropriate bright colours including orange, yellow and bright green.

Anybody who has no like of New Rave is not allowed within 20.00001 miles of the pitch.

The game is played on a semi-circle shaped pitch with the two goals on the curved side.

Each game lasts for 30mins 27secs with each half 15mins 13.5secs.

Each team is made up of 7.5 players. Ever since the ritual "chopping of player in half with spoon" was banned, in order to get the much needed 7.5 players, teams choose to play with 7 players and one midget, or preferably a smurf which counts as the extra half.

There is one referee who must have 2 bright neon lights attached to them.

The winners of each game get to "rock out with their cocks out" while the midget or smurf gets crunk with 6 black dudes.

The midget or smurf often has to be replaced because when the black dudes leave, so does the midget...or smurf, whatever

[edit] Teams

There is currently only one New Rave team in existence, it is called the "Neon Ravers" and is based in South London, though one of their players is on loan to Japan.