Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/A-class review/Dick Rifenburg

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[edit] Dick Rifenburg

This article could use some advice in progressing up the quality scale from GA. It has failed FA once.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 20:20, 6 February 2008 (UTC)

  • Comments:
  • "1944 and 1946–1948". I have not seen another time years as red links! Link them or leave them unlinked.
    • Since I last checked only 1944 has been created. How about if I correct the other redlinks for the anticipated page names.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 04:11, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
      • My opinion is that until the other year-red link is made a proper article, no link of any type is needed for the time being.--Yannismarou (talk) 13:06, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
  • "It is not clear why Rifenburg did not finish higher. However, sportswriters of that era had a bias against Michigan. " Prose question: I am not sure if the use of "however" here is correct.
  • "He also worked for WBEN (AM) and WBEN (FM) and as the sideline announcer for Buffalo Bills games along with Van Miller, the long time Bills play-by-play announcer.[27] He also served as the play-by-play announcer for the University of Buffalo Bulls football team.[6] As a radio broadcaster, he is also remembered". Not the best prose.YesY--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 04:19, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
  • "Rifenburg lived 37 of his years in Buffalo.[6] His wife, Jane was the head of the Buffalo Bills cheerleaders when they met.[29] She is the former Jane Morris.[6] Rifenburg died in December 1994 at age 68.[22] He was survived by three sons" . Choppy ...YesY--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 04:26, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
  • "See also", in case you definitely need it (I suggest you get rid of it), goes before "notes".
  • "It is ironic that Rifenburg was born in Petoskey, Michigan in 1926 because Ted Petoskey preceded him at his eventual alma mater as an All-American end on the University of Michigan football team after he excelled as a representative of Saginaw County in MHSAA competition and after he made 1926 a memorable year for himself." I fail to understand the exact meaning of this sentence. Maybe I miss something as a non-native English speaker.
  • The lack of photo is not an unsurmountable obstacle to FA status (neither in A-Class status), but the lack of any picture is not helpful either.--Yannismarou (talk) 17:02, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
  • Support. Not perfect but indeed further improved. Before you go to WP:FAC, I still recommend an overall copy-editing.--Yannismarou (talk) 13:06, 21 February 2008 (UTC)