User:Wikiscient/Sanhbox/Hidden sandbox
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I noticed that you have posted comments to the Sandbox page in a language other than English. It has in fact, been brought to Our attention that you have been blatantly making use of a whole host of visual images -- including, it would seem, even one or more the so-called "images"! -- presumably in some desperate atavistic attempt to "communicate" (such as that may be) with viewers of your so-called "personal" Sandbox page.
This behavior has never been, is not now, nor will it ever be, permitted. One MUST communicate in written English language at all times. Because you have so blatantly and flagrantly disregarded that fundamental Wikirule, your continued involvement with Wikipedia has hearby come under review by our foul-tempered and professionally-sadistic "Secret Review and Sneaky Actions" committee.
( You will not be made explicitly aware of the result, if any, of Our review of your case: when a ruling has been or will be made, or, indeed, even if it ever will be made. Nor will the consequences to you (and that's --to you--, nb!) resulting from this Inquisition (which, as per S.O.P. and/or Our considered opinion about it, is to be retroactivley back-applied so as to commence promptly at the exact moment of your embyronic conception) will ever be in any way revealed, explained, or even acknowledged to you (or to your secret-court-appointed representatives who will represent you on your behalf in case a determination must be made at some point down the line that you are unfit to find a clue even if it were dangled just out of reach right in front of your face!) ... or to anyone else you could possibly try to imagine might try to help you if they "only knew" -- so don't, 'cause there's no hope there, either. (Personal note: I usually like to say to people such as yourself who we get coming through here from time to time that it's nothing personal, you know, it really isn't -- we'd all tell you everything you want to know, we really would -- but the truth is, well, the truth is that we don't even know ourselves, which of course is exactly how it should be and is in any case as it really is, as per Executive Directive No. REDACTED FOR REASONS OF NATIONAL SECURITY. )
Right, then: HAVE WE MADE OURSELVES PERFECTLY CLEAR NOW, WOULD YOU SAY? NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT -- I MEAN, WHO COULD TALK WITH THAT BIG GAG IN THEIR MOUTH STUCK ON WITH DUCT TAPE LIKE THAT, HA HA HA! No, HA HA HA, I WAS JUST KIDDING. IT DOESN"T MATTER ANYWAY, OF COURSE, TOO -- YOU DONT HAVE TO ANSWER ANYTHING FOR THAT REASON, TOO -- HA HA HA! I'M STILL JUST JOKING, HA HA HA!.
Now then. This here is an ANGLISH speakin nation, and you'll damn well be really happy speakin Anglish from here on out here, and speakin et with a winningly sincere smile on your face like, and also mind your displays of your utterly humiliated deference and/or your abjectly miserable grovelling toward your Superiors -- that's swhenever you might, no matter how unlikely it may seem to you at any given time, day or night, come within the presence of one of Us -- or, verily!, even to so much as cross our minds in passing, no matter where you are, or what you are doing. You must cringe, you must grovel at our feet until we kick you away or perhaps, eventually, just shoot you for getting too damn clingy and annoying that way. You must keep all that sort of thing up without ever making even the skightest most technically nit-picking mistake from this moment forward, and that means even until long after you yourself have been dead and buried, too, which (as I just now seemed to remind myself all of a sudden -- go figure, right?!) is likely to happen any minute, any second here now really, as soon as I get up here and get around to it, after finishing my mug of nice warm tea I've got here, seeing as I've got it now, I mean -- but, oh, no, of course! How impolite of me! Look, I'm sure you'd really like some nice hot tea yourself, too, especially considering as how you've been trhough... well, though all that! Right!? All that. But, well, you can't have any and you and I both know it, no sense torturing yourself with what you just can't have, is there? So, that's that then. Damn good tea, though -- damn good! Mmmm! But alright then now, sire, if it please you as it were, why not go on and get what you can of your affairs in order like for a moment or two now, or anyway as best you can manage considering that there's -- well, hell, no, that won't work. CONfound it all! Heck, I probably couldn't even find you a stub of pencil and a piece of paper in the time's left, now, could I then, sir, what? What?).
Now, I'm supposed to say a few more things, I think. Let's see. Okay, right. Right, yes: I trust, well, I trust that all of that I just said to you sir, as it were just talking to myself after-all, really, if you stop to think of it, well, oh, and also by the way everything I did not say, too -- well, all that is now perfectly crystal clear in your mind, then, sir, as it were, isn't it, then? We're reall clear on all that, then, aren't we...? Yes! Good show, sir -- first rate! Yes indeeed then. Now, the next thing is that you do not have any questions, I know, because you have no idea how bad it would get for you if you ever thought maybe you did have a question, maybe two or three even, I've seen 'em have upwards of a dozen, I have, but not in a long time. That was when we were just getting started. Long,long time ago.... Anyway! Don't. Have any questions, I mean. Just don't. Ever -- not even on the, er, on the other side, such as that might be, sir. Believe me on this one, sir. I'm lookin out for you here, ain't I? No questions, just stop having 'em from now on, it's really a lot easier than you might think, till you get used to it.
And that, then, I think, will serve to bring these proceedings to an end -- as far as you'll ever know, at least, but that's not important anymore, is it?
Ahem. So, ahem
In closing, then, I would just like to assure you on the behalf of myself and of all my distinguished and mind-boggingly important colleagues -- yes, these shadowy figures all in black with glowing red eyes lurking about behind me there, yes, my dear inestimably illustrous colleagues and I would just like to assure you, once and for all, come what, that... well, that we *love you* -- we love you *so much*! Please be sure to hold on to that for as long as you can, ok? OK then, there we have it, then! (*sniffle*) Ok.
Now: hunch down and start grovelling your way out of here -- and no, watch out, don't get in the way, there now, gabdangit! -- and also you are now going to immediately stop making those annoying little inconsolable whimpers of despair like that, quit that right now!, God damn you, if you know what's good for you -- do you hear me, punk? Eh?! Now: GIT!
ATTENTION! ATTENTION! IMPORTANT NOTICE WHICH YOU MUST -- ACCORDING TO STATE, FEDERAL, AND U.N. Regulations AND ALSO, SUBJECT TO OUR INTERPRETATION, LAWS -- READ THIS RIGHT NOW!!!'''
USE OF DEADLY FORCE HAS BEEN AUTHORIZED IN THE EVENT YOU FAIL TO COMPLY WITH THIS DIRECTIVE, SAID COMPLIANCE TO BEGIN IMMEDIATELY AND WITH YOUR HEART OVERFLOWING WITH PATRIOTIC SENTIMENTALITY AS YOU SING OUT IN A STRONG CLEAR VOICE FAMILY-FRIENDLY SONGS OF JOY, AND OF PURITY, OF FREEDOM, AND OF THE INEFFABLE HOLY LOVE OF ALMIGHTY GOD, IN THE HIGHEST, (Blesséd be!). AMEN!
OR..., OR..., OR, SHOULD YOU, INSTEAD, SO PREFER, rather, then: YOU MAY ALSO COMPLY -- AND IMMEDIATELY, MIND YOU, EH?! YOU HEAR THAT: TICK TOCK TICK TOCK -- YOU HEAR THAT, BUDDY? HUH? SO ANYWAY.... ... ANYWAY.... OH! RIGHT! OKAY: YOU MAY ALSO COMPLY -- AND PRETTY FREAKING QUICKLY ABOUT IT TOO HERE, HUH? -- COMPLY TO THIS DIRECTIVE GRIPPED TO THE DEPTHS OF YOUR SOUL BY ABJECT PARALYZING TERROR LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER KNOWN BEFORE AND WOULDN"T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO IMAGINE IF YOU'D TRIED. AM I RIGHT? YEAH, FUCKIN-A I'M FUCKIN RIGHT AND YOU KNOW IT. NOW. DAMN. OKAY. SO, LISTEN UP HERE!
WE ARE REQUIRED BY OGA DIRECTIVE CLASSIFIED SECRET/SECRET-ULTRA//*—/ #REDACTED FOR REASONS OF NATIONAL SECURITY: TO MAKE IT CLEAR TO YOU, IN SIMPLE TERMS WHICH YOU CAN UNDERSTAND, (AS LONG AS THEY'RE IN ENGLISH) THAT YOU MUST COMPLY --NOW!-- TO THE DIRECTIVE. AND YOU MUST COMPLY IN EITHER ONE, BUT NOT BOTH, STYLES OF COMPLIANCE DESCRIBED TO YOU BY ME JUST NOW, ABOVE. IF YOU HAVE NO PREFERENCE, YOU ARE ADVISED TO PICK ONE AT RANDOM. IF YOU DO NOT COMPLY PRECISELY IN THIS WAY, WHICH HAS NOW BEEN MADE CLEAR ENOUGH TO YOU SUFFICIENT FOR AN UNBIASED JURY OF YOUR PEERS TO UNANIMOUSLY DETERMINE THAT YOU KNEW FROM THIS POINT FORWARD EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE DOING AT ALL TIMES, THEN YOUR PREFERENCE WILL BE PICKED FOR YOU BY A COMMITTEE OF PROFESSIONAL PREFERENCE PICKERS. IS THAT CLEAR? GOOD. THIS CONCLUDES THE CLASSIFIED:SECRET PORTION OF THIS ACTION.
LET US, THEN, WITHOUT DELAY, PROCEED. ASSUMING, OF COURSE, THAT YOU ARE ALL READY ... WELL: ARE YOU, UM, READY, "NOW," WOULD YOU SAY...? Yes? Yeah! EXCELLENT! EXCELLENT! WELL DONE! We're doing great, we're doing really, really well here.
NOW, MY ORDERS ARE TO SHOOT YOU DEAD WITHOUT GIVING IT ANY THOUGHT WHATSOEVER, TO IN FACT DISSOCIATE MYSELF COMPLETELY FROM WHAT I AM PROBABLY GOING TO DO TO YOU IN ABOUT A SECOND OR SO, SO THAT, DOH!, heh heh heh!, SO I CAN PLAUSIBLY CLAIM TO HAVE NO MEMORY WHATSOEVER OF THIS EXPERIENCE WHICH I AM NOW SHARING WITH YOU-- THOUGH NOT, IT'S TRUE, OF COURSE, THAT WE'LL BE SHARING IT HERE FOR A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT LONGER, IF YOU GET MY MEANING, BUT -- WELL, YOU SEE WHAT MEAN.
SO, OK THEN, READY? ALL SET? SURE? OK THEN, HERE GOES: COUNTING ... ONE mississippi ... TWO mississippi ... THREE missi...........!
WELL, OKAY, THERE YOU GO, THAT WASN'T SO HARD NOW, WAS IT? HUH? GOOD, GOOD. WELL DONE! SO GET WITH IT ALREADY HERE, HUH? KEEP, YOU KNOW... GOING, GET IT...? GO! 'CAUSE I'M WATCHING YOU, OKAY, I'M WATCHING YOU INSIDE AND OUT. NOW, CONCENTRATE, GET THIS DONE, AND THEN WE ALL GO HOME! HOW 'BOUT WE HAVE A LOOK THERE THEN, EH? RIGHT THERE, THAT'S RIGHT! GO ON, IT AINT" GONNA BITE YA! MWUA HA HA HA, HA HA HA, HA! HA HA HA! MUA HA HA HA HA HA HA! DAMN, HA HA, DAMN, YOU KNOW: I JUST CRACK MYSELF UP. SO, LET'S SEE HERE NOW: WHY. DON'T. YOU. GET. TO. IT. ... .. . ?
—Wikiscient— 08:55, 10 March 2008 (UTC)
