User:Thebigjoeozz

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I am the THEBIGJOEOZZ. Sometimes people choose to put another naughty word in betweenm BIG and Joe. It is possibly one of the rudest and rhymes with duck.

I haven't any future with society and that has been repeated by many people who have called me a recluse but i say i do.

I am starting to preach the future of life and will open my page with the ancient tales of joe.

Day 1 540 days ago 
  

Im alone in the jungle their hunting me the bears are i did not know what i did wrong i only ate some porridge, hang on there right behind me now im going to have to hide. I cant see them they must have gone, no it was a trap they have got no dont eat me please. At this point i was worried they would eat me but no they did not they made me make some new porridge and i was free to go. But thats not all no no day 1 was quite interesting they then after i made the porridge too hot too cold etc, you get the idea, threw me outside without any shoes oh no, no i went they laughed as my feet were hurt as i walked away.

This day was actually pretty boring but i did wander of the wrong past and got lost in sherwood forest.

Day 2 539 days ago 
  

Im in sherwood forest the forest is dark and scary when all of a sudden an 8 foot man dressed in green tights comes out and says hello im little john. And im not lying there. I then goe wheres the rest of you merry men and he says right behind you and they jump out at me and we start to dance. Meanwhile the evil king john is coming up behind us with the rest of his army and we all scream and run away like little girls. I then find a shoe and then another one and put them on so i now have shoes and green tights.

The merry men then throw there me out for being too merry and i am left on my own in the dark part of sherwood forest in green tights. I can see in the distance a wolf and three pigs im going to say hello.

Day 3 538 days ago

Right i head over to the three little piggys and the big bad wolf. I can now see the three little piggy's in a new light there all short and sumpy very short and stumpy actually. It must run in the family there all brothers you see. The big bad wolf is different though hes big and tall but hew is very angry and hungry and wants the three little pigs. He ran after the pigs and was very close behind one of them and he got him he'd caught him from behind and as such ate him. The other two ran inside but one couldnt fit through the door and the wolf got another one of them. The other one was inside and locked the door. The wolf said right thats it im going to blow down this door and he went blow blow blow but that didnt work so he thought maybe i can suck suck suck so he suck suck suck and the little stumpy pig came flying out the door that had just been sucked out and straight into the wolfs mouth. The wolf gobbled him all up.

The wolf then said to me wolud i want some crackiling from pig one i said yes and helped the wolf put him on a spit and spit roasted him on an open fire. The pig was very nice. The wolf put me onto to his friend who said that he is seeing this girl over at the deep dark woods so i set off.

Day 4 537 days ago

I head of to see the wolfy when this girl in red runs ahead comes across and goes down the wrong path. hahaha thats funny i go. I then see wolfy in the hedge i go hey wolfy he goes hello you just riuned my sneakiness. I go over to him and see him in the hedge we stay ther efor an hour while he shows me something. That something is his plan he says we go over to the granmothers house eat her and then we will eat the nice and tender young re riding hood. So we go over to the house and eat the grandmother she wasn't very nice no old person is there to wrinkly when they go down. He lays in the bed and then when red riding hood comes over to see him he grabs her. She is then flipped on to the bed and we lay into her she screams in pain but we enjoy it. She went down very well slidded straight down our throats.

Later a wood chopper comes along and kills the wolf i say i did nothing and we cook the wolf on his spit he was very nice because of all that running away from the wood chopper. He tells me that if i head through the woods i should end up in a barn and if i go a little further i will meet yogi bear so i head off to see my hero.

Day 5 534 days ago

right i head off through the woods get to a barn and here alot of wierd noises. I then see a horse and then see a girl and i run off in shock. (Ask Grazzy). I then head of and i see or rather observe ranger smith giving yogi a right going ver with a stick. I then go and join and yogi goes hello what s your name. I say my name is THEBIGJOEOZZ he goes THEBIGJOEOZZ why are you called the THEBIGJOEOZZ. I go im called THEBIGJOEOZZ because if you break it down THEBIGJOEOZZ contains 4 words first one THE, second one BIG because im BIG, third one JOE coz my names JOE, Fourth OZZ because my names osbourne and Ozzy and stuff so its OZZ.

So i then go off with BOBO and YOGI and we have a ... see my flashbox. But oh well it was fun i stay the night and what happens see tomorrow...

DAY 6 532 days ago

Yogi indoctrinates me in his way of doing funny things to Smith. So we go off and grab Smith, Smith says: no im Smith dont do that to Smith. So we do that to Smith he screams all the way through what we are doing but by the end of our 4 day ordeal he begins to like it. We then do it some more and he really enjoys it, wierdo. Smith then invites us back around to his for a coffee and we go and have a fresh, frothy coffee from his own blend. (that ones for you dave.) We all enjoy the coffee so much we ask for some more and some for BOBO who could not join us. We go and see BOBO and he asks where we have been coz hes had to do the hoovering and hes annoyed off about that, we then make a mess and we have to clean up some creamm we knocked over.

I then bit YOGI by accident in something YOGI, BOBO, Smith and I where doing later that day and he kicked me out, but i do have something to remember him by what i bit off.

The END 529 days ago

I walked and walked and kept walking and then walked some more until i could no longer walk. I then fell asleep and woke up in a gutter where the death squad came and rounded me up and the slowly tortured me to death. The fairy tale world i have decided is not all that nice people die and come back to life which is not really true because i was a manifastacien of god. Which means being omnipresent i knew what was coming and what was to be so i just let it happen. What i cursed them with for doing that well lets say not even a doctor from the year of 10,000 can sort that out. Well it was a joke to say the least until they realised they were well inside out. This was funny to watch what the dogs bit at as they walked home, there entrails. Life is bummer you die and then you end up with me or satan so be careful which one you pick because if satan gets out the mayo jar, you will not stop screaming. Life well can you really say anything good will come of it well make it good and find out but i know whether you will fail or not so good luck in that life of yours and hard luck when you find out what i do to you is worse than satan. Can you really stick an eternity with me as your god? Hard luck, its funny what i can do to you, you want an eternity with beautiful women/men but i can make it so your not arroused, hard luck.

This is the tales of joe but wait there is more.