User:The Adam Boice
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Intro
Supreme General Fuhrer Webelo His Majesty The Adam Boice Esquire is a mythical man whom many experts believe to be the demon spawn of Hank Scorpio and hail from Western Norway or Mordor, an exact location has never been confirmed. He is known most for his full head of nappy hoe hair and has been compared to a midget with giganticism. He is believed to be between 4 and 27.985 feet tall along with the ability to shoot fire from his bunghole and has the ability to piss people off to an unfathomable extent.
His Adamness
The Adam Boice is best known for going to thousands upon thousands of concerts. He has seen most memorably a Rage Against the Machine show featuring...WU TANG in Harlem and lived to tell the story which will be published in his new much awaited autobiography "How My Brother Norman Molted Off Me In My Larva Stage And Jumped Into The Fountain of Aging". It is said that it was him who discovered the glorious Hypnotoad who will reign supreme over the pathetic humans soon enough. The man is probable most remembered for leading the forces of Satan in the brutal war against the Cuddle Bears from the Cutesie Planet where seven trillion people perished under his glorious command that lead to victory and his election as High Chancellor of Andorra the following year.
During his totalitarian regime the country prospered into a military might that conquered France with an arsenal of eight trebuchets, seven million T-35 and T-80 battle tanks, and twenty seven kill bots. The country would rename itself The Neutral Country and serve as a hiatus for teenagers wishing to travel to a land with no drinking or statutory rape laws. Following a coupe lead by himself and mutant pirate ninjas to overthrow himself, he would spend the next twenty years in seclusion deep in the heart of Canada where he would discover cures for cancer and create Hyper-AIDS and many other biological agents. His last known sighting was at a Mexican Deli where he was yelping loudly to get the butcher's attention so that he could acquire enough roast beef to last him a thousand winters.
Quotent Quotables
The following are some of The Adam Boices' favorite quotes and memorable moments:
- "Careful Private you spooked Felicity." Zap Brannigan
- "Death...By Snu Snu!!!!" Amazonian Woman
- "Woobobobobobobobo." Dr. John Zoidberg
- "Wait guys lets think...when there's one there's four." The Adam Boice
- "Have you ever seen the rain?" CCR
- "Zeppelin Rules!!!!!!!!" Otto
- "Adam...Nissan." Dan Siok
- "Adam...there's no break in the median...there's headlights coming this way...ADAM!!!!!" Dan Siok
- "Eat eat your but skin and bones." Joshua T. Waine
- "Where are your papers?" Matt Wilkos
The End?
In conclusion...The Adam Boice should be treated with care for if he does exist then we would want to preserve him for future generations to enjoy, but if he is no real...then who cares. If someday you are sitting quietly you may hear his trademark yelp or loud rif-raf self. So partake in your next Save The Adam bond drive on February 30 at D.O.O.P Headquarters deep in the heart of a savage deserted unlivable wasteland known only as the most unholiest of words...New Jersey. If you come you can get some free punch and pie or free hat.
