User:SilkTork/Welcome

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This is an essay; it contains the advice and/or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors. It is not a policy or guideline, and editors are not obliged to follow it.

Don't be abrasive and inconsiderate. If people abided by this, we wouldn't need any other policies about behavior. This is a corollary of ignore all rules, and most other rules are special cases of this one.

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[edit] Fundamentals

"Don't be abrasive and inconsiderate" is the fundamental rule of all social spaces. Every other policy for getting along is a special case of it. Although nobody on WP is empowered to ban or block somebody for being inconsiderate (as this would be an instance of being inconsiderate), it is still a bad idea to be one. So don't do it.

No definition of being inconsiderate has been provided. This is deliberate. If a significant number of reasonable people suggest, whether bluntly or politely, that you are being inconsiderate, the odds are good that you are not entirely in the right.

Being right about an issue does not mean you're not being inconsiderate! An inconsiderate person can be right — but they're still inconsiderate; if there's something in what they say that is worth hearing, it goes unheard, because no one likes listening to inconsiderate people. It doesn't matter how right they are.

[edit] Coping with being labeled inconsiderate

If you've been labeled as inconsiderate, especially if you have been told this by several people in a particular community, it might be wise to consider the possibility that it is true. If you suspect that you may be inconsiderate, the first step is to become aware of it. Ask yourself what behavior might be causing this perception. Try changing your behavior and your mode of presentation. In particular, identify the harsh words in your communications and replace them with softer ones.

Honestly examine your motivations. Are you here to contribute and make the project good? Or is your goal really to find fault, get your views across, or be the one in control? Perhaps secretly inside you even enjoy the thrill of a little confrontation. This may not make you a bad person, but to everyone who is busily trying to build something great, you become an impediment. People get frustrated, rancor ensues, the atmosphere changes, and the whole project suffers. Are you here to give, or to take?

If appropriate, publicly apologize to anyone to whom you may have been abrasive and inconsiderate. It's okay; this won't make you seem weak. On the contrary, people will take notice of your willingness to cooperate and will almost always meet your efforts with increased respect.

Telling someone "Don't be inconsiderate" is something of an inconsiderate move in itself, so don't bandy the criticism about lightly.

[edit] See also

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