User:Robson jerome
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Robson jerome is the chosen pseudonym of Robert Davidson.
| Robert Davidson | |
|---|---|
| Born | December 23, 1991 Carlisle, Cumbria |
| Influences | Oscar Wilde, Karl Marx |
| Influenced | Everybody |
Contents |
[edit] Early Life
Robert Davidson's early life was filled with woe. Beaten as a child, Davidson didn't have the necessary vehicles to explore his wit and intelligence. Despite his early hardship, Davidson went on to become well-loved within his community and widely regarded as a minter.
During childhood, Robert developed a reverence for reading and became enamoured by 20th Century politics at age 9.
[edit] Schooling
Davidson was educated at Scotby School until age 11, at which age he moved on to William Howard School. Among his peers, Robert found himself being idolised to such an extent that he grew tired of the constant worship. To this end, he joined the Chess Club and turned his hand to becoming the greatest chess player in Western Europe.
At William Howard School, Robert found himself going a bit off the rails and started taking heroin and overdoses of sour sherbets. Concerned that his teeth would rot, Robert's parents stopped giving him sweetie money and confiscated his heroin for 2 weeks.
Robert's true wit and sharpness of mind began to shine through at Secondary School, where encouragement by his splendid peers was instrumental in his development.
[edit] Discoveries
Robert has made numerous discoveries during his lifetime- some of them real, some fictional. Here is a non-extensive list.
[edit] Nuclear Fission
While it is generally agreed that Ernest Rutherford discovered Nuclear Fission, Robert Davidson discovered it almost at the same time as Rutherford. Robert discovered it a few seconds earlier, mind you.
[edit] The BBC
The BBC was stumbled upon by Robert during a family holiday to East Anglia in 1997. Despite being 6, Robert decided to exploit this Government-endorsed resource for his own financial gain. Within one year of conception, the BBC had made over £11.57. Davidson spent the vast majority of the money on Haribo.
[edit] Communism
Robert was working on an alternative to capitalism in his spare time, and stumbled upon communism. It was a lot like Anarchism, but with more oppression.
[edit] Puberty
In his naïve arrogance, Robert believed himself to have discovered Puberty, a disease involving hair-where-there-was-no-hair and lethal acne. He wrote about this "discovery" in a popular medical journal, but was largely mocked by scientists, puberty having been discovered several years before by Oscar Wilde.
[edit] The ¿ Sign
Meant to signify fertility, the ¿ sign was discovered by mistake while Robert was on his way to the lavvy. The rest is history.
[edit] †
Christianity was discovered by Robert while he was designing a religion which encompassed both Fascism and Dogma. The resulting goldmine was an added bonus, as were the extra bitches.
[edit] Politics
A well-known Lefty, Robert originally had roots in the Conservative town, Penrith. Convinced that the political right was a selfish, immoral ideology, Robert began studying the works of Karl Marx.
Despite Robert having been born in 1991 and Marx having died in 1883, Davidson used his wit and intelligence to go back to 1881 to discuss the merits of Marxism. They even had a photo-shoot.
After violently imposing his views on everyone around him and displaying anger towards the Tories, Davidson is widely regarded as a Left-wing hate figure.
[edit] Death
As Robert is just 16, his death is yet to eventuate. Some Eastern scientists have toyed with the notion that Robert Davidson will never die. Though this concept has a certain degree of truth in it, it is possible for Robert to die due to severe burns or explosion.
He hopes to die someday, but not in an emo way, just because he reckons he'll get bored.
