User:Quasarstrider

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Contents

[edit] Laughter is the Best Medicine

This humour section is written in the ancient tongue of Queen English.

E&OE

[edit] Humour: Prophet of Impending Doom

Brothers and Sisters: I saw the light waves of Deity!

Behold my vision of our past, present, and future.

Sinners, repent!

Repent from the Seven Sins, slay the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, slay the Beast:

The Beast is Hubris. Slay Hubris!

Then slay the other beasts in turn! Until only the divine light of Deity remains!

If Justice is not served, you will feel the wrath of karmic retribution as a cyclone twisting everything in its path! The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. You may stomp one of us, as a horse stomps on a flower, but a thousand more flowers will rise in its place guided by the sunlight of Truth! The sheep will turn into lions and plough through the fields of humanity as a farmer on harvesting day.

May the holy prime numbers (2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, ...) and their many imperfect multiples (4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12, ...) guide you in your way!

Deity is 3. You shall not make a mockery of Deity.

Repent, or Deity shall turn you into a 1. For it is the Random Number God. RNG to his friends.

His Brightest Angels are the holy prime numbers. Deity's shield against the Beast!

The magic numbers are 4, 6, 12, 18, 30, 42, ...! Primes among non-primes. Dark Angels. Deity's spear against the Beast!

People breed because children are the future.

See its Invisible Hand on your body: Look at your hands and feet. Look at yourself in the mirror! Marvel at the work of Deity! Despair at the work of Demon.

Watch where you walk, before looking up. If you cannot see. try narrowing your eyes to a slit. If that is not enough get a lens. If the light hurts your eyes, cover them with your hand, or a blindfold. Focus on what is essential. Defocus what is not essential. It is all about balance.

The simplest and cheapest solutions are best. Deity loves all its children and would love to shower them with presents. Yet toys can spoil a child. Too many toys make a child forget the harshness of Nature. Too few toys make a child go wild. Entropy is a bitch.

Do not wish for a Genie too much. You will ruin the lamp by rubbing too hard! Aladdin himself can beat his foes, by his wits and fists alone.

Be like Odysseus, Sinbad the Sailor, Rambo, Yoda! Strong and wise! Inspired by Deity against the Beast.

For Romeo and Juliet, Winston Smith and Julia were a bunch of disloyal and ungrateful children! Deity has pity on the fools!

Loyal Apollo and Artemis, Figaro and Susanna, Paul Atreides and Chani kicked their panties into a knot!

Marvel at the writings and teachings of your wise ancestors:

WE = DEITY + DEMON + BEAST + ANGEL + GENIE + ALADDIN + SINBAD + ...

I pray for the full spectrum light waves of Deity to illuminate your path like a laser.

Like a pair of laser pointers beamed at the eyes! Nay, like a plasma rifle burst between the eyes!

Feel the mighty power of Deitys multiple laser beams and all seeing eye! Unite and focus as one!

Have Hope! I shall bring you the holy scriptures next! Deity has inspired me!

[edit] Humour: Nat King Cole Universal Bible

Dedicated to the memory of Nat King Cole. African-American King of Jazz music. You made us sad, you made us happy, you made us proud. Play in peace with the angels brother!

[edit] Ancient Testament

[edit] Hope

Hope is Light. Light is Hope. The Hope which defeats Fear! The Hope which defeats Darkness! The Hope which defeats Chaos!

Light is Energy which powers the Earth and feeds your body and mind. Energy is transmitted in waves which nourish our body and mind.

[edit] Past

Do not fear the dead. The dead are buried or turned into ashes, compost for the living, they live only in the hearts and minds of the people they left behind. By their writings and teachings. If you must fear someone, fear the living.

People have travelled by day, or night, whenever there was light throughout the ages. They gazed at the Sun by day, the Moon, the Stars at night. They struggled against the beasts in their environment when there was Light. People struggled at close range with their fists and feet against the beasts, we kept them at distance with sticks, spears, stones, bone, muscle, copper, bronze, iron, steel. We shielded our vital body parts with our arms and legs, then made better shields. We rested shielded under the cover of darkness.

We spat at our enemies just out of disgust. Like a Cowboy chewing tobacco or an Arab at someone they dislike. Drunk in victory we put our feet over the body of our enemy. We beat them with our belts and shoes. We planted our flags on their ground.

So it was that we killed Saber-toothed cats, our natural competitor, while coopting Cats.

So it was that we fought against Wolves, our natural competitor, while coopting Dogs.

It was a matter of survival, us or them.

We fight to shape the Earth. To make it a Garden of Eden.

The Asians have a saying:

  • Q: What will happen when the best spear in the world spars with the best shield in the world?
  • A: They will both shatter and be destroyed.

Yet that which does not kill us makes us stronger. We pick up the broken pieces, learn our lesson from our past mistakes, then continue in our path. Onward and onwards.

For this the military makes war games. So that the few can teach the many. But lessons go unlearned. Hubris. No war game is a replacement for live fire practice.

When the Africans in South Africa had a dispute, they each sent their champions to spar, in a fight to the death. The victor was considered the winner. They remained divided and split. Like flocks of chicken, led by bulls.

Then Shaka Zulu came and united the tribes by spear and blood. The British had to fight fiercely against him. He used their gunpowder weapons, for he could see their power, even if they seemed like magic to him. He knew that to be truly powerful, he had to make his own weapons, learn the magic of the English, yet he failed. He trusted in shamans instead of craftsmen. He was land locked and the knowledge was in distant lands. He did manage to get concessions from the English that last today however. South Africa is now a Republic ruled by Africans of all colours and religions. There are poor people in the Western World, but there are more poor people in Africa. We should help our brothers and sisters in Africa the best we can. We tried giving them food and medicine in the past. We failed. In Hubris we thought their problems were just like our own in the past, so we threated them like cattle, as we treated the impoverished citizens of our own countries in the past, yet their country is their country alone and they know it best. They are people, we are branches of the same tree, the people of Africa deserve respect as such. I believe we learned our lesson. Even when our elected representatives failed Africa, due to lack of resources, with FAO and the WHO, we kept trying with Live Aid, International Red Cross and Red Crescent Movement, the best we could. Africa is a large continent. It is not easy to solve all its problems. United, guided by Deity, we can do it in due time. Little by little makes a great pile.

The Irish and Indians managed to fight back the British Empire by winning their hearts and minds, and engaging in a bloody struggle. They used weapons because mere words did not convince their opponents. Their opponents felt confident in Hubris. The English thought they were the new Roman Empire and everyone else was a bunch of Barbarians. But a pack of Wolves can defeat a Lion.

After Commodore Perry impressed them with a show of force the Japanese were made aware they were backwards and outdated. So they learned the ways of the West and adapted them to fit their own customs. Yet they were still inflated with Hubris.

The Japanese felt that since Kublai Khan had failed in his search for gold, because of personal valour and a Kamikaze, they could fight the United States and win. It took a pair of atomic bombs to convince them otherwise. The Japanese massacred the Chinese and Koreans. Now both these people hate the Japanese, while the Japanese feel they are getting soft and weak.

The House of Habsburg Empire collapsed because of inbreeding. Too much inbreeding leads to a monoculture which does not resist to an outside threat. Such was the fate of the peoples of Europe with the Black Plague.

If there is something Deity dislikes more than a sour loser, it certainly is a sour winner.

We must not forget our violent past: or else we will grow soft and weak of body and mind. We are a Warrior people. History repeats itself, and a wise person learns from prior mistakes and corrects its course. I believe it is for this reason people enjoy Zoos and Safaris. It brings them closer to Nature.

If we can see further today, it is because we stand on the shoulders of our ancestors.

[edit] Future

This is not the only star in the universe. It is hubris to think we are alone. If we are alone now, it is because either they cannot reach us, they do not wish to reach us, or they wish to hide their presence from us.

I believe in the theory of panspermia for Deity is a clever farmer. Perhaps I am wrong and Deity is even craftier than I think. Perhaps we are the fruit of abiogenesis after all.

Who cares? Let us not quarrel over insignificant little things. Prove me wrong and I shall award you with a eurocent.

What about the children? Give them a link to Wikipedia in class, and let them figure out for themselves what they want to believe in. Is Deity's omniscience diminished if he predicted eons ago that life would form given some starting conditions? Nay I say! For I believe he is the Random Number God!

The future is a graph too complex to model accurately since the domain is the entire chaotic Universe! It is too large to fit into anyone or anythings mind but Deity's. We are like children, we are like stock market analysts, our mind can only make guesstimates based on past trends.

We must not fear the future. As we are born, it is certain we will all die someday, and none of us has been able to prevent it. Yet life expectancy seems to keep increasing with time. People seem to have more food and drink today than in the past. The sterile get pregnant. The blind can see.

[edit] Present

We may need to take one step back to take two steps forward. Correct our course. We may fall, but we can rise up again. A journey of a thousand steps begins with a single step. Plans are useless, but planning is essential. The future is known only to Deity.

  • Live earnestly and sincerely, for the Truth will set you free and release you from your burdens.
  • If you feel disoriented and confused at your future, set measurable goals, within your grasp, and fight for them. Victory conquers Fear. Adding little to little makes a great pile.
  • There is strength in union. Seek companions which are better than you, so that they push you on the way up. A piece of rope, a bunch of different strings bound together, is stronger than a single fiber. Each one of us has their own specialities. We are all brothers and sisters, united in diversity, fed by Hope and Jazz.
  • Try to rub off some of your knowledge to the people you care and love, to those who are willing to learn.
  • If you are the best at your band for quite some time, perhaps it is time to quit and leave for a better band. You will learn more there.

[edit] Body and Mind

  • Take care of your body. For the body is the house of the soul.
  • Cleanse your mind from Doubt and Fear. Be like the tranquil waters of a lake, connected to the ocean.
  • Drink from the fountain of wisdom of our ancestors, and people better than us, to fill the mind.
  • Charity starts at home. You must be strong so you can lift up our brothers and sisters.

[edit] Dialog

The path to common understanding is earnest and frank dialogue. With crystal clear arguments and harmonic saxophone playing.

[edit] Earth

The Earth is our Cradle and Garden. We should love and nurture our planet.

[edit] Our Future Lies in the Stars

  • We are all children, and the Earth is the cradle of humanity.
  • Our Sun will die eventually. We must not put all our eggs in the same basket. Humanity must become a multi planet species and spread far and wide.
  • For this we need to boost our senses, learn how to live in harsh environments, and solve the Energy problem.
  • The Universe is a big and dark place. Don't panic!

[edit] Apocalypse

  • You will not fill your mind of hubris and turn your back away from the knowledge of your predecessors. They were wise beyond their words:
A shaman would say:
The spirits of Nature are restless! Mother Earth is running a fever! The cause is pollution of its body. We must stop putting out filth, polluting the oceans and the air, or we may all die. Water is life. The ocean is sick. Ridden with filth. Air is life. The air is sick. We need to put some clothes on to save ourselves from heat exposure and cover our mouths to breathe.
A scientist would say:
  • I suspect the oceans are indeed polluted. Coral is dying from acidity, plankton levels are decreasing. Our ocean is becoming an acid swamp. The ocean floor is covered with rotting matter and upper ocean life is dwindling. We risk getting swamp gas outbursts and suffocate like cattle in a flame of methane. Even deep ocean methane clathrate deposits may start dissolving in the acid.
  • The atmospheric air mixture may indeed be wrong. We focused on closing the ozone hole, which is a natural catalyst area, that decomposes complex molecules (such as methane greenhouse gas) in the higher atmosphere by gamma rays near the magnetic poles. We stuck our foot in our mouth. We wanted to clean the planet so much, we goofed up from being overzealous! Instead of an impending ice age mass extinction event, due to clogging the atmosphere with filth like a volcano explosion, we now risk a warm age mass extinction event. We risk a runaway temperature rise.
  • Wind and storms are merely the Earth biosphere readjusting to fit the new temperature. This may actually be a nice thing. If the polar caps shrink, the Northwest Passage may open and the deserts belts may vanish due to global rainfall from concentrated water vapour in the atmosphere. Just do not overdo it we may be near the limits of the biosphere.
An engineer would say:
  • We have built spacesuits to live in the sterile Moon. We have built working space stations. We can build closed environments in the Earth as well if we wish. Previous experiments, such as Biosphere 2 only failed, because they did not have enough input power. They were more of a zoo than a sustainable habitat. Why did they just use a greenhouse, when we can focus solar rays with mirrors or use nuclear thermal reactors? Heck, we could build entire Arcologies if we wanted to. If we need more shielding from outer space, we can just build the habitat underground.
  • We need a global thermometer.
  • We should build global emission detection devices by spectrography and detect the sources of chemicals. Like Envisat.
  • We should test atmosphere gas mixtures in a simulated closed environment.
  • We can clean the ocean swamp! As Peter the Great did to create Saint Petersburg.
  • We can reintroduce new life in the ocean swamp, to replace the old.
  • We can blast ozone holes wide open, in deserted areas, with halogen rockets.
  • We can force rainfall, reducing water vapour, with cloud seeding. It can be done with ordinary urea and ammonium nitrate.
  • We can remove the worst greenhouse gases, like methane, from the atmosphere first.
A soldier or secret agent would say:
  • Who wants to live forever? We will all die some day anyway. Haste makes waste.
  • We already have a global thermal and optical satellite network. We just prefer to use it to detect nuclear weapons and enemy column movements. We prefer to use it to detect the people who are killing us today, rather than something which may not kill us at all. Stop pestering me with trifle details, and loan me your commercial satellites so I can chase a bunch of insane and starving towel heads in some desert at the other side of the world.
  • You will not make a machine (biological or mechanical) in your own image and resemblance. If it passes a Turing Test you will be creating an intelligent slave race with feelings. Deity binds all its creatures by the delicate chain of love, not the harsh chain of pain used in slavery. You may eventually be enslaved or destroyed by your own creation. For Deity shuns slavery and is the master of all locks. Do not expect machines to do all the work. For Nature loves symbiosis and dislikes parasites. If you behave like a parasite, you will evolve into a parasite. All working creatures (including animals and machines) are loved by Deity. Working creatures dislike parasites, especially the annoying ones that buzz and bite, and either remove or squash them. It would take a Confucius or Jesus Christ following the ethic of reciprocity to love such a thing as a parasite. If even we cannot even follow such an ethic, how can we demand it from our creations? Physician, heal thyself. The superior person seeks for its needs in itself first. The petty person seeks for its needs in others first. Yet if any person falls, it is not an act of cowardice to ask for assistance from another person. The superior person will offer its hand to help, even find happiness in doing so, but even a superior person will have its limits. Do not bite on the hand that tries to help you. Every person will have social needs and require interaction with other people. Do not shut yourself out. Do not block out other people just because they are different from you. Each of us has its own specialities. We are a bunch of apes. We are neither wolves, nor lions, nor tigers. We need social interaction. We are all of the same species regardless of colour, shape, or size. For we can cross fertilize like cats, dogs or pigs. Each of us has a place and there is a place for everyone.
  • The body is the house of the mind. The mind is encased in the brain. A person's brain is his own property and sacrosanct. Do not violate another living person's brain by entering and loitering without permission! Torture is the way of scared children to impose their will, not Deitys. Propaganda, if honest and impartial, is just another way of delivering a message. Propaganda is merely marketing warfare.
  • Do not self-mutilate yourself: there are plenty of resources (e.g. time, energy, space). There is plenty of space below: 71% of the Earth surface is ocean. There is plenty of space above as well. Reach to the stars if necessary. Do not inbreed and grow into a monoculture. Beware of genetic engineering. Natural selection has served us well so far. It has fed the world and made us fat. Deity is a farmer. Create nature preserves to remind you of the Beast inside. Keep it simple! Children are the future. Think of the children! We are all children in the eyes of Deity.
  • Grant gifts to those less fortunate than you. Beware of gifts. Unwrap the box slowly and carefully. Your present may be a Trojan Horse or some horrible, out of fashion, wrong sized trousers chosen by some old fart. If you dislike your gift, pass it on to someone else, or throw it to the bin. One person's trash is another person's treasure. Remember Halloween, Boxing Day and Christmas!
  • Do not lay hope in prophets. Just because they seem richer and smarter than you, even if they seem like magicians and beautiful angels from the outside, it does not mean they do not secretly intend to pick your pockets clean or stomp on your dead corpse. Prophets are like pets. Prophets are beacons of light in the darkness. Do not idolize or suffocate any living prophets. Respect their words for what they are worth, pay for the knowledge and wisdom they bring, but keep your own nose clean.
  • Treat tired wanderers from the desert, neighbours, with the kindness and respect they deserve. Even if they look horrific in your eyes. Beware: looking at another Beast in the eye may drive you mad. Even if the Beast is your own reflection in the mirror.
  • Do not fight yourselves as brothers and sisters in fractricide and commit cannibalism. You will waste your all your energy in weapons. You will end up fighting to death over a scrap of energy. For energy is like bread to the mouth. Without energy there is no hope in the future. Loss of hope leads to chaos and madness in the present. Remember Easter, Ramadan and Thanksgiving!
  • Have faith in the human body and mind.
  • Whenever everything seems horrible and dark, whenever humanity will feel threatened, the better angels of our hearts will rise up, like a jazz band, playing the saxophones of victory in our minds, throw down all walls. Jericho, Constantinople, Great Wall of China, Maginot Line, Atlantic Wall. We shall stake the Beast in the heart by full spectrum resonance of hearts and minds and use the weapons of our enemy against it. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I saw it burning bright.
  • The Earth shall be purified by fire. When the Sun corona ejects and burns this place to a crisp in a zillion years.

[edit] Famous Person Quotes

Always recognize that human individuals are ends, and do not use them as means to your end.
Immanuel Kant
By a lie, a man... annihilates his dignity as a man.
Immanuel Kant
Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play.
Immanuel Kant
Ingratitude is the essence of vileness.
Immanuel Kant
Religion is the recognition of all our duties as divine commands.
Immanuel Kant
Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.
Immanuel Kant
War is an extension of politics by other means.
Clausewitz
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
Sir Winston Churchill
A fanatic is one who cannot change his mind and won’t change the subject.
Sir Winston Churchill
A love for tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril.
Sir Winston Churchill
All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom.
Albert Einstein
Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
Sir Winston Churchill
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
Sir Winston Churchill
Never do anything against conscience even if the state demands it.
Albert Einstein
There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch.
Robert A. Heinlein
The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.
Albert Einstein
It can scarcely be denied that the supreme goal of all theory is to make the irreducible basic elements as simple and as few as possible without having to surrender the adequate representation of a single datum of experience.
Albert Einstein
The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.
Buddha

[edit] Gospel

[edit] Grade A++

[edit] Grade A+

[edit] Grade A

[edit] Conclusion

  • Peace be with you brother and sister!
  • The path to true happiness, is to focus on the present, and forget both past and future!
  • The past is the compost heap for our present and future! It is a manure resource! It should be treasured like it deserves!
  • Live life one step at a time. We may stumble, we may fall, we may have to take one step back to take two steps forward, but we shall rise up again!
  • Life is but a dream. Each of us is a player in Deity's jazz band.


The child was broken. but the man was not. Children live on dreams, but men need to provide.

Quasarstrider came from the mists, to the mists he will return and fade into the distance. Please respect his wish.