User:Nadroj28

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[edit] Dan Nikolits

Dan Nikolits was born in 1933, to the parents of Ludwig and Brigerterer Nikolits of the Gustonomov Nikoltis's. From an early age, the precocious Nikolits found his talents lay in welding, manufacturing and magic. He was stricken with Nikol-itis, a very rare disease named after...well, him (he is actually the only person to ever suffer from such disease).

During his teen years, Nikolits found his true calling: whittling while sky-diving in a banana suit over the Ugandan outback. This all tragically came to an end when he dropped his knife and killed a village of Ugandans. After a forty-year exile, Nikolits learned to channel his pain, anguish and regret into a form of clogging known as "The Mud Angel." After touring the Balkins for many years with his dance troupe/hip-hop ensemble, "The Rap Scallions," Nikolits finally retired to Pangea. He single-handled lowered the atmospheric-methane content to 50 parts per million (ppm). He also picked back up his whittling, and created ships in a bottle, and a society of wood-people to populate the super-continent with him. These mischevious minions played tricks on the Mastadons; for example, by luring them into tar pits. While trying to save one of these towering beasts, Nikolits fell into a tar pit and discovered Swamp Thing. He left retirement to join the late '80's.

He produced his own television show, entitled "Swamp Thing," after his new best friend and life-partner of the same name. Nikolits always disparaged the creature from the black lagoon, showing his inherent intolerance for wretched characters. However, after two seasons, "Swamp Thing" was cancelled, and Nikolits killed President Lou Gehrig at Ford's Theatre. Currently, Nikolits is on the lam from the authorities regarding President Gehrig. Blockbuster Video - Wow, what a difference!