Talk:Mitsubishi S-AWC

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[edit] Suggested edits

There was a bit of duplication in the "Description" section, so I tried to merge that together. Also, a description is just an overview so should probably be in the lead section -- think of the lead as a standalone article, which should help the reader understand the subject even if everything after the Table of Contents was deleted.

I also thought it'd be better to put the two additional (non-included) components after the list of included ones, otherwise we're describing what it doesn't have before what it does, so I reordered the sections slightly.

Finally, the press release was a bit too glowing about how brilliant everything is, so I tried to tone down the language to make it more WP:NPOV. I think it might still be slightly too technical and pro-MMC, but that's really a result of the sources used. Since I don't suppose many non-Mitsubishi types would be finding their way to this page I didn't try to tidy it up too much.

Regards, --DeLarge 11:29, 14 July 2007 (UTC)

superb, yea i also tought it needed to be more neutral, good job on reordering it, i knew it should be re-arranged but i wanted to leave that to you, have a look at Twin Clutch SST article i created, i tried to be as neutral as possible. More info on these two systems will be available in september or october when the press kit for Lancer Evolution X is released....I also need to create Mitsubishi AWC article, since S-AWC is according to MMC "The ultimate embodiment of the AWC philosophy", cheers --MitsuFreak 11:57, 14 July 2007 (UTC)