List of Rock Profile episodes

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Here is a list of episodes in Matt Lucas and David Walliams' comedy show Rock Profile. Also see Rock the Blind.

[edit] Series One (1999)

Title Airdate Overview
Wham! 7 June 1999 Andrew Ridgeley still believes Wham! are musically active and asks George Michael why he hasn't returned any of his calls. He thinks George's only solo hit is Careless Whispers.
Steps Lee and H from Steps have the mentality of five year olds, and make fun of the female members of the group.
Michael Jackson Michael is shown as a highly confused person, protected by the overly masculine Elizabeth Taylor, who is tempted away with biscuits.
Kula Shaker The band was founded as a school project.
Simon and Garfunkel The pair hate each other and use a curtain or even a brick wall to separate themselves.
Boy George & Marilyn Both think that they are really women and behave like bored teenagers, enticing Jamie to shop lift. Boy George bears a marked similarity to Little Britain's Vicky Pollard.
The Prodigy The Prodigy do not actually appear in this episode, which concentrates on a pair of stalkers who have taken up residence outside the band's country home.
Eurythmics Dave Stewart is portrayed as a mad scientist who claims to have created Annie Lennox — a creature similar to that from Mary Shelley's Frankenstein — from parts of corpses.
Gary Barlow Gary Barlow and Howard Donald from boy band Take That dream of reforming the band. Gary is portrayed as a mean-spirited bully, upon whom the child-like Howard waits hand and foot. When Theakston asks Gary if he still speaks to Robbie Williams, Gary responds "Yeah, I phone Robbie up every week — don't tell him it's me though".
Kylie and Dannii The pair hate each other, always slagging off each others careers, and pointing out each others faults.
The Beatles Paul McCartney is a meat eating scouser, George Harrison speaks with an Indian accent and has a poppadom in his pocket, and Ringo Starr believes he is Thomas the Tank Engine's representative on Earth.
The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Prince's career has collapsed, and he is now homeless, living on the streets of Glasgow (actually very obviously Shepherd's Bush in London).
Oasis

[edit] Season Two (2000)

Title Airdate Overview
The Happy Mondays
Take That A Take That reunion is planned at Gary Barlow's room at the YMCA. While waiting for the others Barlow, Theakston and Howard Donald play the Take That board game. It seems only Barlow and Howard Donald will attend until Robbie Williams arrives at the party, prompting a game of Pass the Parcel. The party is a let down and ends with Gary shouting at Theakston and Williams.
Tom Jones and Shirley Bassey Both argue about who has had more success, and list their successful songs. Tom Jones keeps confusing celebrities who have complimented him, for example he said Elvis named his the best singer of his generation. It turned out to be Shakin' Stevens who made the comment. Shirley Bassey bears resemblance to Lucas's character Bubbles.
Elton John Elton is self-centred and abusive towards Theakston and David Furnish. He appears to be unaware of world events, guessing the price of a loaf of bread is £80. His catchphrase is a petulant "Right! I'm leaving!". Funnily enough, Lucas went on to interview Sir Elton in a sketch for a Comedy Relief episode of Little Britain.
Duran Duran The band lose and change members with every new scene between the music played in the episode.
Steps 2 The male members of Steps are again portrayed as children. They plan to launch a range of Steps merchandise including the the 'Steps Knife'. They talk of their showbiz party in McDonald's and seemingly mock Theakston throughout the interview, referring to him as 'Jamie Squeakston'
Bucks Fizz The remaining male members of 'The Fizz' sit rancorous in a bedsite, seething with bile over the traitorous Jay Aston.
The Chemical Brothers and Air
ABBA Benny and Bjorn believe their songs were very political, like Dancing Queen is actually about communism. They get confused who was married to which and there is a short lived reunion.
George Michael and Geri Halliwell Everytime George is asked a question, Geri interrupts and makes special advances towards George, even though he makes it clear he IS gay.
U2
Blur
The Bee Gees In allusions to the band's infamous appearance on the Clive Anderson show, the Bee Gees (Walliams, Lucas and Steve Thirsk) conduct a steely interview, whereby Barry is in charge and the others will only speak with his permission. Barry Gibb is portrayed as the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz.