User:Leopold Stotch

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Sometimes I'm afraid that I am a cosmic casualty of an epic battle between good and evil. An unfortunate participant in the failed experiment that is the human race. I intuitively identify myself as a soldier of light, though I am conflicted by my rational mind that sees no difference between good and evil. Light and dark have equal importance in the balance of the universe and I have difficulty understanding the existence of nobility and criminality in the human race. Sometimes I feel a tremendous amount of compassion for people, and though it is something I still can't understand, it is the sole thing that maintains my faith in humanity. I forgive my enemies, sometimes more easily than I forgive myself. Sometimes I feel like I'm the last romantic person alive. I've been aware my whole life-- at some times moreso than others-- that I am far more sensitive than most people. To what extent I'm still not sure, and the prospect makes me very lonely. I'm afraid of the dark, of silence, of stagnation, and of the unknown. After an unbearably long suicidal period I began to embrace death, though I have since created enough meaning in my life that I once again fear death. I have dreamy eyes and a pair of bruised and broken angel wings. I'm still discovering my purpose as an artist and the significance of my art. I believe that enough intention and attention to an idea can cause it to manifest in the astral realm and I wonder how many of my artistic creations are running around the energetic universe. I feel tremendously guilty for the social class I was born into and for not contributing enough back financially. Sometimes my heart whispers to me that everything is as it should be. To me, the notion that "everything is meant to be" is self-evident and inevitable and therefore doesn't seem to hold much weight as an argument to lessen a painful experience. I've never gotten something I prayed for but I still pray all the time. I detest the gross and surround myself with beauty. Sometimes I have a terrible urge to rid myself of all material possessions and social ties and start over somewhere new. All that stops me are my parents and my latent music career. I dream vividly, often to the extent that I have trouble distinguishing dream from reality. I am engaged in a personal quest to attain the Philosopher's Stone. It is an inward journey that manifests outwardly. A simultaneous search for happiness, spiritual enlightenment, and to get laid. I see wisdom all around me in nature. I respect animals and do not look down to them or consider them inferior. I have no doubt in their ability to suffer and stick to a vegetarian diet. My youth usually evades me before I can enjoy it. The magic of the universe is in subtlety. I am madly in love with a girl who has more subtlety to her than anyone I've encountered. I've loved her for many years though I've never told her and don't speak to her often. I would trade every asset of mine if I could mend our relationship and elope with her. As a result of long term exposure to western society I have developed impatience and a need for relentless activity and I am trying to untrain these qualities. There are presumably self-imposed barriers in my life that I cannot perceive nor understand that are currently preventing me from moving forward with my life outwardly. I have never experienced emotional peace and dream about the day I learn it and can lay my head to rest. Humor is one of my better and abundant qualities and it can make life much easier for me when I get too serious. I am so sensitive to criticism that a single comment can cause me to fall in love with a piece of art of mine I was not proud of and vice versa. I live my life with a sense of urgent laziness.

I have recurring dreams in which a winged serpent turns me into his servant and grants me three lives.

Likes: Electric pianos, anarchy, the occult, the night, America, dreaming, South Park, Shannyn Sossamon, alcohol

In this world there exist positions of authority that have disproportionate power over other people. This power/authority is not distributed to people based on their merit. It rewards selfish behavior and often a lack of moralistic regard. These people can and do abuse their power.