Talk:Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts

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[edit] Copyediting

As I tagged the article with {{advert}} and {{copyedit}} I'm responding to a request for more detailed suggestions. The opening paragraph focuses on the size and cost of the venue, which if they are not extraordinary are of temporary interest only. The size might fit with either the facilities section or the architecture section; the cost might fit with the history, or perhaps a new background/origin section explaining why it was built. The facilities section is OK, the resident companies is OK, except for "troops/troupes" homonym. (This is the only real copyediting issue I see on review now.) The architecture section sounds suspiciously like a cut-and-paste from a brochure or project proposal and that should be checked out; if it comes from a reliable source (such as an architecture critic) it should be cited. The list of firms is directory-like and promotional. The organization section is a collection of vanity redlinks (are any of these people WP:BIO-level notable, or just local luminaries?), and suggests that the facility is named for someone associated with the board, but doesn't explain why (back to origin section). Finally, there are no cited sources providing independent verification of the importance of the subject. I think I will change {{copyedit}} to {{primary sources}} to make clearer what is missing. --Dhartung | Talk 04:35, 5 September 2007 (UTC)

Done and done.65.28.9.8 02:59, 16 September 2007 (UTC)