Wikipedia:If you're anxious for to shine

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This page contains material which is kept because it is considered humorous. It is not intended, nor should it be used, for any remotely serious purpose.

[edit] If you're anxious for to shine in the Wikipedian line

Surely not related at all to the song from Gilbert and Sullivan's Patience.

If you're anxious for to shine

In the Wikipedian line

For your civ-il-i-ty rare,

You must pick up all the germs

Of the wiki-shortcut terms

And plant them ev'rywhere.

You must know WP:CIVIL

And write WP:V drivel,

AGF with NPA -

The articles don't matter

If it's NPOV chatter

In a TLA-ish way!

And ev'ryone will say,

"'AGF with NPA!'

If he has such a grasp on wikiwords that he baffles each newbie,

Why, what a very model of a modern Wikipedian this editor must be!"

Be elegant in praise

Of whatever Jimbo says

And quote him all the time.

Search the archive of his sayings

For whatever backs your brayings -

(This bit completes the rhyme.)

And your enemies, defeated

By a Jimbo quote repeated

Then cannot do a thing

For policy and guideline

Can only take a sideline

To our Wikipedian God-king!

And everyone will say,

When Jimbo rules the day,

"If this young man knows Jimbo quotes that had never yet been heard by me,

Why, what a most extrordinary kind of man this editor must be!"

Then if edit wars should happen

You're ideally placed to tap in

And push your POV.

Quote policy to back you -

If sources you should lack you

Can just make stuff up, you see!

Or find something so obscure

That you can't get it anymore

And then use it to win the fight -

It will say just what you let it

So long as noone else can get it

And "Assume Good Faith" means to assume you're right!

And ev'ryone will say

If you edit in this way,

"If he will insist on edits that all other folks have panned

Then why the hell has nobody dealt with this jerk, and why is he not banned?"