User:Homelessjake

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Homeless Jake- a.k.a. Jake Kelly Originally the night jock for 106 WKHQ in Petoskey/Traverse City, MI. He dominated the night-time ratings and people would call all the time just to listen to his sexy voice. When he wasn't owning the night-time radio airwaves, he has be known to climb Mt. Everest, and donate hit time to near-by shelters teaching blind children to read, also he donates his time to console beat and battered women at half-way homes, and most recently made a guest appearance with John Stamos on ER

Homeless Jake is also talented in so many different areas. A few examples include: hair design, he can speak seventeen different languages, he is a certified matador, he is outragiously good at the guitar and Homeless Jake invented and cured AIDS.

Also, he's gorgous.

Homeless Jake is not vain.

Some people claim that after being in the presence of Homeless Jake's illutstrious hair, that they've seen God, or at least Buddah.

Homeless Jake's many hobbies include skydiving, ass-kicking, writing novels, sailing on his 700 foot yacht straight into the Bermuda triangle which is actually a parallelogram. Homeless Jake knows this because he actually invented Geometry. He's currently suing for rights to the name.

Homeless Jake also enjoys suing companies and winning. these include suits against Google, The Road Commission, Barbie, Dixie Cups, Glade Plug-Ins, Chicken of the Sea, Pixie Stix, and Lego which is not related to his case against Eggos. He also has plans to sue a large undisclosed corperation. That he knows will be a challenge But Homeless Jake has hope. actually Jake means "hope" in Hebrew.

It is believed that there is no sun because all the planets revolve around him. There has been Homeless Jake and only Homeless Jake since the dawn of time, but that's just a rumor. Also, he is beautiful, just like the Sun.

To sum up, Homeless Jake is caring, giving, loving ,kinding and other-words ending in i-n-g that I cannot think of right now...

Homeless Jake is beautiful