Haunted (novel)

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Haunted

First edition cover
Author Chuck Palahniuk
Cover artist Jacket design by Rodrigo Corral Design
Jacket illustration by Jeff Middleton
Country United States
Language English
Genre(s) Horror, Satirical novel
Publisher Doubleday
Publication date May 3, 2005
Media type Print (Hardcover & Paperback), audio cassette, audio CD, and audio download
Pages 404 pp (first edition, hardcover)
ISBN ISBN 0-385-50948-0 (first edition, hardcover)

Haunted is a 2005 novel by Chuck Palahniuk. The plot is a frame story for a series of 23 short stories, most preceded by a free verse poem. Each story is followed by a chapter of the main narrative, is told by a character in main narrative, and ties back into the main story in some way.

The synopsis on the dustjacket describes Haunted as a satire of reality television, but according to Palahniuk, the novel is actually about "the battle for credibility" that has resulted from the ease with which one can publish through the use of modern technology.[1] According to comments at a 2005 appearance in Miami, Florida, Palahniuk listened to "Bela Lugosi's Dead" by Bauhaus for "inspiration" while writing Haunted.[citation needed]

The cover of the 2006 U.S. trade paperback reprint features a glow-in-the-dark image.

Contents

[edit] Plot introduction

The main story centers on a group of 17 individuals (all of which go by nicknames based on the story they tell) who have decided to participate in a secret writer's retreat. After having noticed an invitation to the retreat posted on the bulletin board of a cafe in Oregon, the characters follow instructions on the invitation to meet Mr. Whittier, the retreat's organizer. Whittier tells them to each wait for a bus to pick them up the next morning and bring only what they can fit into one piece of luggage (in particular, only what they feel they need most).

The next day, the 17 characters, Whittier, and his assistant Ms. Clark are all driven to an abandoned theatre. There, Whittier locks all of them inside the theatre, telling them they have three months to each write one story before he will allow them to leave. In the meantime, they will have enough food and water to survive, as well as heat, electricity, bedrooms, bathrooms, and a clothes washing and drying machine provided.

The characters live under harmless conditions at first. However, the characters (not including Whittier or Clark) eventually decide that they could make a better story of their own suffering inside the theatre, and thereby become rich after the public discovers their fate. They then begin to individually sabotage the food and utilities provided to them, each character trying to only destroy one food or utility to slightly increase the drama of their stay. However, as no single character is aware of the others' plans, they end up destroying all their food and utilities, forcing all of them to struggle to survive starvation, cold, and darkness.

The format of the book is unique. Each chapter contains 3 sections: a story chapter, a poem about a particular writer on the tour (its author is unknown) and a story written by that writer.

[edit] Characters

The following are the 19 characters in the main narrative, along with the stories they tell:

Character Story Description
Brandon Whittier "Dog Years", "Obsolete" A wheelchair-bound rich man who owns the abandoned theatre and hosts the writer's retreat. Though he appears to be a very old man, he is in fact a 13 year old boy who suffers from progeria. He amassed his wealth by convincing middle-aged married women to sleep with him, telling them that he was an eighteen year old virgin, then blackmailing them into giving him money.
Tess Clark "Post-Production", "The Nightmare Box", "Poster Child", "Cassandra" A housewife turned failed amateur porn actress who has become Whittier's assistant to learn what happened to her daughter Cassandra at Whittier's last writer's retreat.
Saint Gut-Free "Guts" An abnormally skinny man who lost part of his lower intestine in a masturbation accident.
Mother Nature "Foot Work" A reflexologist and homeopathic therapy expert who was once employed in prostitution based around her skills with reflexology. She has joined the retreat to escape the Russian Mafia, who are out to kill her for abandoning her job and being an accessory to the murder of her friend's pimp.
Miss America "Green Room" A pregnant model who wants to become famous.
Lady Baglady (Evelyn Keyes) "Slumming" A rich woman who, along with her husband, used to pretend to be homeless to get over her boredom with being rich. After she and her husband witness a crime leading to the murder of a wealthy Brazilian heiress, her husband is murdered by the killers, and a string of homeless people are murdered in the search for her. She comes to the retreat to escape the people who want to kill her.
The Earl of Slander "Swan Song" A reporter who murders a former child star in order to frame him for collecting child pornography, so that he can write a Pulitzer Prize-winning article about it.
The Duke of Vandals "Ambition" An amateur artist who sneaks paintings into museums. He later becomes a respected professional when he murders a famous artist as a favor to the man's patron. He has come to the retreat to escape the same fate as the other artist.
Director Denial "Exodus" The director of a police station. She brings with her a cat named Cora Reynolds, named after its former owner, a co-worker who killed herself trying to stop police officers from using anatomically correct dolls for sexual purposes.
Reverend Godless "Punch Drunk" A former soldier who, with a group of other soldiers, raises money by lip-syncing in drag and allowing people to assault him in order to fund a war on religion.
The Matchmaker "Ritual" A man who dresses similar to a cowboy. He convinced his wife to marry him after hiring a male prostitute to ruin her idea of the perfect man. Rather than being autobiographical, his story is an extended "joke" he learned from his uncles, which is in fact an anecdote about a freak accident in a Nazi POW camp that saved their lives.
Sister Vigilante "Civil Twilight" A religious woman who carries a bowling ball with which she may or may not have killed people.
Chef Assassin (Richard Talbott) "Product Placement" A professional chef who murders critics who write negative reviews of his cooking and blackmails knife manufacturers by threatening to tell the world that he uses only their knives to commit his deeds.
Comrade Snarky "Speaking Bitterness" A woman who is critical of other women's looks. When she was a child her parents divorced and her mother continually warned her that her father might sexually abuse her. This, however, never occurred but because of it she has been wary and critical of men for her entire life. She came to the writer's retreat after she and the members of a women's retreat sexually assaulted an individual who may or may not have been a post-operative male-to-female transgenered person for virtue of them having been born male.
Agent Tattletale (Eugene Denton) "Crippled" A man who becomes temporarily crippled and tries to cheat the company he worked for out of worker's compensation after he recovers. After killing a man who was collecting evidence on him for the company, he takes that man's job and is almost killed by a woman who he spied on.
The Missing Link "Dissertation" A member of the Chewlah, a tribe of people who are, according to local rumor, able to transform into sasquatches.
The Countess Foresight (Claire Upton) "Something's Got to Give" A woman with psychic powers. She was arrested for murdering a man who she believed murdered Marilyn Monroe. She now wears an electronic tracking bracelet as part of the terms of her parole.
The Baroness Frostbite (Miss Leroy) "Hot Potting" A former employee of the White River Lodge who lost her lips to frostbite while trying to save someone from an accident at the hot springs nearby.
Miss Sneezy (Lisa Noonan) "Evil Spirits" A woman with chronic sinus problems. She claims to carry an incurable disease, and that she escaped from a government isolation facility.

[edit] "Guts"

The book is best known for the short story "Guts", which had been published previous to the book in the March 2004 issue of Playboy magazine as well as on Palahniuk's website (Palahniuk offered to let them publish another story along with it, but the publishers found the second work too disturbing). It is a tale of violent accidents involving masturbation where the reader is told "to hold his breath" in the very first line.

While on his 2003 tour to promote his novel Diary, Palahniuk read "Guts" to his audiences. It was reported that over 35 people fainted while listening to the readings. On his tour to promote Stranger Than Fiction: True Stories in the summer of 2004, he read the story to audiences again, bringing the total amount of fainters up to 53, and later up to 60, while on tour to promote the softcover edition of Diary. The last fainting occurred on May 28, 2007, in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada, where 5 people fainted, one of which occurred when a man was trying to leave the auditorium, which resulting in him falling and hitting his head on the door. Palahniuk is apparently not bothered by these incidents, which have not stopped fans from reading "Guts" or his other works.

In a September 2004 reading of "Guts" at Cooper Union in New York City, no listener admitted to fainting. When Palahniuk showed surprise, many members of the audience replied, "This is New York!" in a nod to the alleged inability to shock the city's denizens.

[edit] Plot summary

"Guts" begins with the narrator telling the reader to hold their breath for the duration of the story.

The narrator then describes three unnerving incidents involving adolescent boys masturbating. First, he describes a boy inserting a lubricated carrot into his rectum to stimulate his prostate while masturbating, and then hiding the carrot in a pile of laundry. His mother later takes the laundry away and presumably discovers the lubricated carrot, but never mentions it to him. Next, the narrator describes a young boy inserting a thin stick of candle wax into his urethra to stimulate it while masturbating. The wax slips back into the boy's bladder, requiring surgery to remove it. Finally, the narrator describes an incident in which he sat on the water intake at the bottom of a swimming pool while masturbating. The suction caused his rectum and lower intestines to prolapse and become tangled in the filter, forcing the narrator to gnaw through his own innards in order to free himself and avoid drowning. The narrator's sister later becomes impregnated by semen deposited by the narrator in the pool, which results in her having an abortion.

In all three cases, although the parents of the boys involved knew about the incident, they never discussed it afterwards, causing all three to figuratively "hold their breath" while they waited for the reaction that never came.

Purportedly all three of these incidents are based on true stories. According to Palahniuk, the first two tales came from his friends' experiences and the third he heard while shadowing sexual addiction support groups as research for Choke. In one of these groups, he met an extremely thin man. When Palahniuk asked him how he stayed so thin, he told him "I had a massive bowel resectioning." When Palahniuk asked what he meant, he told him the story which was the basis for the third episode in "Guts".

[edit] Editions

[edit] References

[edit] External links

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