User:Flowerparty/10pt

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The traditional Wikipediholism test has become unruly - hijacked by unsavory charlatans who're just out to add questions and a have a good time. This won't do. Wikipediholism is a serious condition, and one that, if left undiagnosed, could lead to... er... consequences... probably. What we need is a proper, cod-scientific checklist that follows in the spirit of the Founding Fathers of that first list. We need a test that we can actually believe has some scientific merit.[1] One that we can bomb through in 3 minutes and that, if it tells us we're 'holic,' should scare the living bejaysus out of us. Hence, the 10-point Wikipediholism test.

[edit] The test

  1. How many hours have you spent on Wikipedia over the last 24? (1 point for every hour)
  2. How many hours' sleep do you estimate you've lost this week because of Wikipedia? (1 point per hour)
  3. Did you dream about Wikipedia last night (or whenever you last slept)? (10 points if yes)

# Do you find yourself constantly humming the Wikipedia theme music? (10 points for yes) oh, wait, that's Tetris

  1. Are you, or have you ever been, addicted to anything else in life (e.g. alcohol, Tetris, Benylin); and if yes are you displaying any of the familiar symptoms now (e.g. shaking, fidgeting, sore thumbs)? (5 points per symptom)
  2. Do you find yourself becoming restless whenever your browser is not showing a WikiMedia site? (5 points if yes)
  3. How many times has your userpage been vandalised this week? (1 point per distinct vandal)
  4. How many discussions have you participated in today? (1 point per discussion)
  5. Are you coming here because you actually want to be told you're addicted? (5 points if yes)
  6. How many times have you taken this test over the last week? (0 points; being addicted to the test is no use to anyone)
  7. Did you check your watchlist while taking the test? (5 points if yes)

[edit] Analysis

Score Diagnosis
0-5 What! Why are you even bothering to take the test if you're so patently un-holic. Stop wasting my time!
6-20 This is probably a good, healthy range. Yeah, well done.
21-35 This is presumably less healthy. But you probably know what you're doing, so keep it up!
36-50 Er, maybe you should go out and get some exercise.
over 50 Holic. At this level you're at high risk of severe splenetic trauma.

[edit] Notes

  1. ^ It doesn't.