User:Floaterfluss/Nonsense articles

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Here is a collection of various deleted articles that I found to be extremely funny.

[edit] Super Non-Noteworty Moron Brothers

Super Non-Noteworthy Moron Brothers is a game of absolutely no significance that I will write at great lengths about because I sucked on the propane tank behind my daddy's trailer when I was a child.

The game was released in 1997 for the Doobertronics Entertainment System and later ported to the Virtual Boy and Sega Dreamcast where is was a huge success selling a total of 10 copies at a flea market in rural Kansas.

The premise of the game centers around a pair of brothers, Jeremiah and Scooter, who drop out of elementary school to fight to save Princess April from being impreganted by every guy in the trailer park kingdom of Indiana County, Pennsylvania. Their powers include being able to cut things into their own arms with a fork, drinking whiskey while driving pickup trucks, and having sex with the skankiest, nastiest, crustiest pieces of shit that even my brother Gary wouldn't touch wearing a Level 4 biosuit.

I will now waste the time that I could be spending looking for a job, a girlfriend, or my own apartment to bring you the strategy guide to a game that no one give half a fuck about:

The first level: The first level is the easiest. In the time it takes me to write this, you'll already have realized this game is a waste of time and demoted it to being a beer coaster. However, I'm a moron that holds lit cigarettes in the same hand that he pumps gas with and doesn't use condoms because Preacher told me not to. Therefore, I'm gonna talk about this game in a strategy context, opening it wide up to deletion by Wikipedians that where born into homes that don't consider World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) to be "art".

The second level: The second level is tricky as you'll be constantly trying to keep Jeremiah and Scooter from shooting each other in the head with BB guns and trying to find Princess April by following the trail of vaginal crust she leaves behind. When you see the first redneck that trys to pick her up (you'll know him by his pickup line: "Hey baby, at least one my daughters are as old as you") slam his face against the tailgate of your pickup truck. She'll still try to suck his disheveled prick off, all the while screaming "Scooter, you ain't my daddy, and as soon as I find out who is, he's gonna kick your ass". Slap the bitch and threaten to staple her twat together. If she utters "You don't know me!! I love him!!!" slam her with the crowbar.

Third level: The third level involves active participation by the player. First, make a homemade M-80 using a toilet paper tube and the gunpowder from a number of shotgun shells. When the device is complete, light it and hold it in your hand and about 2 inches from your face, and count slowly to 50.

Final level: If you survived the third level with brain damage that was considered "moderate" or better you win.