Dumb Britain
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It has been suggested that this article or section be merged into List of regular mini-sections in Private Eye. (Discuss) |
Dumb Britain is a regular item in the fortnightly British satirical magazine, Private Eye, which depends upon material sent in by readers (see also Colemanballs). It documents the worst (and funniest) answers given by quiz-show contestants. As well as British quiz shows, other nations' worst answers are also occasionally featured, under the headings Dumb America, Dumb New Zealand, etc.
[edit] Examples
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Featured answers range from the ironic:
- Sara Cox Show, BBC Radio 1
- Sara Cox 'Beauty is in the eye of the...'
- Contestant Tiger.
- Fifteen-to-One, C4
- William G. Stewart: Above the entrance to which place do the words “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here” appear?
- Contestant: A church?
- Stewart: Er, sorry, no, hell.
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: Where was the recent Winter Olympics held?
- Contestant: Taunton.
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: The Grapple in the Apple, recently held in New York, was a debate between the journalist Christopher Hitchens and the politician George who?
- Contestant: George Washington.
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: In which film did Harry Lime say 'In Switzerland they had brotherly love and they had 500 years of democracy and peace. And what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!'?
- Contestant: One Flew Over the Cuckoo Clock.
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: In Italian history, in 1919 which former journalist set up the Fascist Party?
- Contestant: Silvio Berlusconi.
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: Name the man who was President of Italy until May 2006.
- Contestant: Don Corleone.
- Beg, Borrow or Steal BBC 2
- Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
- Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
- Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
- Contestant: Leicester.
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: A selection of small, highly coloured sweets is known as Dolly...
- Contestant: Parton.
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: In politics, what is the current occupation of David Blunkett?
- Contestant: Blind.
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: The adjective Rubenesque, meaning a plump, voluptuous woman, is derived from the work of which 17th century Flemish artist?
- Contestant: Aretha Franklin.
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: He was known as the King of the Cowboys. He was Roy who?
- Contestant: Keane.
- Sara Cox Show, BBC Radio 1
- Sara Cox What was Bram Stoker's most famous creation?
- Contestant Branston Pickle.
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: In the 1940s which politician was responsible for the welfare state; William...?
- Contestant: The Conqueror.
- The Vault, ITV
- Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
- Contestant: Nostalgic
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: What force of nature is responsible for keeping the Earth, planets and asteroids in orbit around the Sun?
- Contestant: Delta Force.
through the panicky slip and the downright ignorant:
- The Vault, ITV
- Melanie Sykes: In which European city was the first opera house opened in 1637?
- Contestant: Sydney.
- The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
- Leno: Who was the first man on the moon?
- Contestant: Louis Armstrong.
- National Lottery Jet Set, BBC1
- Anne Robinson: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what?
- Contestant: Jelly.
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: Which m describes exhibiting clothes or making air fix aircraft?
- Contestant: Hangar.
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: What 4 letter word beginning with d has shelves and is used for writing on
- Contestant: Table.
- Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol
- Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
- Caller: Japan.
- Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
- Caller: Er... Mexico?
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: No what please we’re British?
- Contestant: Thankyou.
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: Which hot drink is eat an anagram of
- Contestant: Hot chocolate.
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: A wild guess is a shot in the...
- Contestant: Arm.
- Family Fortunes with Les Dennis
- Dennis: Name something people believe in but cannot see.
- Contestant: Hitler.
- The James O'Brien Show with James O'Brien
- O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
- Contestant: Er, well I know there was a Henry the eighth ... Er ... er... three?
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: Which part of the human body is closest to the floor when we are walking?
- Contestant: The head.
- The Big Ask, LBC
- Gary King: What is the largest carnivore that lives on the land?
- Contestant: A Whale.
to the purely (and sometimes multiply) bizarre:
- Steve Wright in the Afternoon, Radio Two
- Steve Wright: On this day in 1963, how did Valentina Tereshkova become famous?
- Contestant: Was she the first woman to grow a potato?
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: A pain in the muscles or bones of the lower legs, often suffered by sportsmen is known as Shin...?
- Contestant: ...dlers List.
- Studio 7, The WB Network
- Presenter: Which former British colony was handed back to the Chinese in 1997?
- Contestant: London.
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: Which actress was married to Humphrey Bogart, and is the also the cousin of former Israeli prime minister Shimon Peres?
- Contestant: Gene Kelly.
- 24 Hour Challenge, BBC Radio York
- Jonathon Cowap: If someone is described as hirsute, what are they?
- Contestant: Erm.
- Cowap: Here's a clue. Most men are, and most women would like us to think they are not.
- Contestant: Is it gay, Jonathon?
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: In the Lord's Prayer, what word beginning with 'H' meaning 'blessed' comes before 'be thy name'?
- Contestant: (quietly) Howard.
- Anne Robinson: (incredulously) Pardon?
- Contestant: (louder) Howard.
- The Weakest Link, BBC2
- Anne Robinson: What word for an ancient Roman marketplace is also a site on the internet for open discussion?
- Contestant: Chatroom.
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