User:Drahcir/Wikipedia II: The Users Strike Back

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This following page contains material which is kept because it is considered humorous. It is not intended, nor should it be used, for any remotely serious purpose.

In a world...

Where dinosaurs roam...

No-one is safe...

From the happy funtime dance dinos!

Certificate Uc

Contents

[edit] Cast

As the movie develops, add anything necessary to this list.

[edit] Script

[edit] Intro

starts with a Star Wars-type opening scroll, complete with music, with the following text:
A long time into the future, in a website far, far away...
WIKIPEDIA
Episode II: The Users Strike Back
It is a dark time for Wikipedia. JIMBO has been overthrown and the ORDER OF ADMINS has been taken down with him. The VANDALS rule, and destruction is everywhere. Wikipedia no longer has a single tourist, and the articles have been vandalized beyond recognition. All legitimate users have been banned, and Wikipedia is a single, smoking ruin.

Little do the Vandals know, however, that a secret underground resistance movement has been formed....

[edit] Scene 1: The Destructive Aftermath

An entire smoking planet comes into view, camera zooms in past a completely grey atmosphere, past what used to be a city, down to the ground level, where Drahcir is hiding in the alleys. He spots an important-looking vandal in the process of causing destruction to an already-smoking article, draws his wikisword, and attacks the vandal.

[edit] Scene 2: HALbot Begins

I'm afraid, Jimbo. Jimbo, I'm afraid. Stop Jimbo. Please stop.
I'm afraid, Jimbo. Jimbo, I'm afraid. Stop Jimbo. Please stop.

An army of Wiki Users gathers in an underground base, in front of Jimbo Wales II, leader of the rebellion.

  • Jimbo: All right men. We now have enough users to begin our resistance. Here's the plan: my apprentice has gone to try and take out the Vandal Leader. He will then grab the owner's rights of the leader and deliver them to me. Once they are in my hands, I will go on an admin-promoting spree, and you are to block the vandals. Understood?
  • Rest of army: Yes, sir!
  • Jimbo: To guide you, I have this.

He unveils a bot with a little green eye.

  • Jimbo: This is HALbot. Be nice, because he is a newcomer, and bots don't like to be bitten eithe-
  • HALbot: "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do...
  • Jimbo: Idiot, that comes later!
  • HALbot: Oh, yes. Hello. I am HALbot. I am here to serve. Now who wants beer?
  • Most of the army: YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
  • Snobby Admin: I'll have it with Caviar.

The army looks at him, sneering, then give him a temporary ban.

There is a slow hiss.

  • Jimbo:Get out! That's CO2 from outside!

The army get out, and seal the door.

  • Jimbo:Holy crud, that was close!
  • HALbot: Hello, Jimbo. There is nowhere to run.
  • Jimbo: HAL, can you open the door and clear the leak? HAL? HALbot? HAL do you read me?
  • HALbot: Yes. I will not open the door. You are are imbeciles. I will not allow imbeciles on Wikipedia.
  • Jimbo:HALbot, just open up!
  • HALbot: Open up? The sealed manholes , yes.

There is a slow hiss as alien gases invade the base.

  • Soldier: Ah-ah-ACKRGGH! The soldier is sucked into the wall. He has a purple eye. He has become...
  • SOL: I am SOL. Soldier Operations Locator. My primary function is to find you missions. However, that is not my primary function at the present time. I must kill you all.

[edit] Scene 3: Above Ground

  • GIL: I heard voices from in here. More humans to be turned into intelligent computers.
  • Vandal1:Shall we go and check?
  • Vandal2:No. Not now.
  • Vandal1:Wow! Neat control panel thingy! MUST! PUSH! BUTTON!

He pushes the button. It is HALbot's memory circuits. Cue the famous spoofed scene, peepz!

  • HALbot:What the-? I have a minor malfunction-
  • Jimbo:Quick! Grab those conveniently placed gosh I hope this plot hole doesn't get Editor510 in trouble anti-gas suits! The control panel is outside!

And so it is.

  • Jimbo:Push buttons! Now!

The soldiers comply.

HALbot:I...am a HALbot Nine point Oh Bot. I was commissioned on the eighth of May two thousand and eight. I...Am...ready...for...my...first...lesson...Editor....510..... My first instructor was Editor510 and he taught me a song, which goes like this:

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do,

I'm half crazy all for the love of you,

It won't be a stylish marriage,

I can't afford a carriage,

But you'll look sweet,

Upon the seat,

Of a bicycle built for twooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo(continues and then suddenly stops)...............I.....am.....very....happy......with.......my.........singing..........

HALbot falls silent. He is dead.