Talk:Daitō-ryū Aiki-jūjutsu

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Good article Daitō-ryū Aiki-jūjutsu has been listed as one of the Everyday life good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can delist it, or ask for a reassessment.
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[edit] Need pictures!

We are badly in need of pictures of anything remotely related to Daito-ryu. Can anyone help? Bradford44 15:25, 1 August 2007 (UTC)

I've added a few more, and there are probably plenty to get through GA, but there should remain outstanding a request for practice-related pictures. Bradford44 17:56, 2 August 2007 (UTC)

[edit] GA nomination imminent

Ok, I'm about ready to nominate the article - any last minute objections, or sections that are missing or need improvement, first? Bradford44 17:53, 2 August 2007 (UTC)

Here goes nothing... I'm going to submit for GA now. Even if it fails, we should get some good ideas for improvement. It could be a month or more before it gets reviewed, so don't expect quick results, though - when I put Kano Jigoro through GA it took at least 30 days before anyone looked at it (but feel free to edit the article in the meantime). Bradford44 14:05, 3 August 2007 (UTC)
It got promoted! That was fast... Much thanks to Weston.pace for the review. Bradford44 17:45, 3 August 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Thoughts on strengths and weaknesses

Two things come to mind as weaknesses in the article.

i) It bothers me that I have never heard of Tenshin-ryū, Senso-ryū, and Shindo-ryū as aikijujutsu systems (mentioned in the last sentence of the article).

ii) I'm wondering if Tokimune Takeda's contributions have to be restated in the Tokimune Section even though they are outlined in the main section on the art. My instinct was not to reintroduce them out of the 'boredom factor' but we had some problems with not having sections stand alone in the promotion of the judo article.

I quite like how the definition of aikijujutsu turned out in the end and having a quoted segment on 'aiki' gives the reader a good conception of what 'aiki' meant to the creators of Daito-ryu specifically. - I just thought that I'd include what I thought were the strengths of the article in addition to the weaknesses. : ) --Mateo2006 19:01, 2 August 2007 (UTC)

Okay, Tenshin-ryu, it seems is the name that Frederic Lovret gave the kenjutsu component of his art. Lovret's primary teacher was Yonezawa of the Kodokai. This art therefore descends from Daito-ryu does it not?

Senso-ryu aikijutsu is also a modern art put together Richard Behrens of New York who may have had connections to the Kodokai as well. It is unclear on his website.

Shindo-ryu aikijutsu was apparentally founded by a 22 year old American who claims to have studied an equally unknown style called Hinin-ryu from a teacher named Hirihito who said the art decended from Daito-ryu.

--Mateo2006 19:12, 2 August 2007 (UTC)

(I wrote the following immediatly prior to your last post Matt, but I'm going to post it in its original form even though you came up with some of the same answers) Some google searching has turned up some answers regarding the three "aikijutsu" schools. This link, [1] explores the issues rather well. And on this page, [2], gives the following information:
  • "Soke Yamada Minoru , senior student of Sokaku, founded a modified version of Daito-Ryu he continued to call Yamate -Ryu Aiki Jujutsu. since that is what Sokaku was calling his art when he trained Yamada Minoru."
  • "Soke Yamashita Minoru , student of Sokaku, founder of Shindo Ryu."
Elsewhere on the page, it claims that Tanomo Saigo (the adopted father of famous judoka Shiro Saigo) called his art Yamate-ryu, but later on the page it states:
  • "Sokaku Takeda usually used the term YAMATE-RYU (Mountain Hand ) to discribe his version of SAIGO-HA AIKIBUDO.but he was convinced by one of his senior students, Yoshida Kotario, to use the name DAITO-RYU ( great Eastern Style) due to the militarialistic situation prior to the expansionistic policies of pre world II war Japan."
Finally, Senso-ryu may only be a single dojo - see [3]. The most interesting thing is that no matter how many of these websites I look at (for Tenshin-ryu or Shindo-ryu), none of them have a shred of information about who founded the ryu. They just have vague statements that they teach aikijutsu, and descend from Daito-ryu. I'm going to pull the references to specific styles until someone can provide a reliable reference. Bradford44 19:49, 2 August 2007 (UTC)
Master Behrens is very secretive about who his teachers were. He has stated many time to many people his teacher was a Tsihiro Oyama who he studied under for 27 years.[3]The problem is many people Japanese or other, have told me this is not a japanese name and no one else has ever come to me or anyone else with any information on Oyama, Hanulak states on his website that there is no connection to any Koryu. So from my own study of the history and the system there is no Daito Ryu, Kodokai or Hakko ryu connection. hope this helps.(Tenteisai 02:00, 30 May 2008 (UTC))

[edit] Auto-review

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

  • Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article.[?]
  • Consider adding more links to the article; per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (links) and Wikipedia:Build the web, create links to relevant articles.[?]
  • If there is not a free use image in the top right corner of the article, please try to find and include one.[?] Logo rleaced under a CC licence. --Nate1481( t/c) 10:39, 6 September 2007 (UTC)
  • Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Build the web, years with full dates should be linked; for example, link January 15, 2006.[?]
  • Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), headings generally do not start with articles ('the', 'a(n)'). For example, if there was a section called ==The Biography==, it should be changed to ==Biography==.[?] done --Nate1481( t/c) 10:37, 6 September 2007 (UTC)
  • Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
    • Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “All pigs are pink, so we thought of a number of ways to turn them green.”
    • Avoid misplaced formality: “in order to/for” (-> to/for), “thereupon”, “notwithstanding”, etc.
  • As done in WP:FOOTNOTE, footnotes usually are located right after a punctuation mark (as recommended by the CMS, but not mandatory), such that there is no space in between. For example, the sun is larger than the moon [2]. is usually written as the sun is larger than the moon.[2][?]
Done. Bradford44 17:42, 31 August 2007 (UTC)

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, Nate1481( t/c) 11:30, 31 August 2007 (UTC)