Covert incest

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Covert, emotional or psychic incest is a type of psychological abuse in which a parent imposes an overly sexualized or codependent relationship on their child. The covert incest relationship includes aspects similar to a relationship between adult sexual partners but without the type of physical contact that would be considered as child sexual abuse. Behaviors associated with covert incest create an interpersonal relationship that is thought to be harmful to the child and one-sided, meeting only the needs of the parent while discounting the needs of the child.

The effects on the child of covert incest have been described as similar to the effects of overt incest though differing in intensity. Some have criticized the concept of covert incest as an overly broad set of criteria which could lead to excessively expanded definitions of incest or child sexual abuse.

Contents

[edit] Overview

Covert incest was defined in the 1980s[1] as an emotionally abusive[2] relationship between a parent (or step-parent) and child that does not involve incest or sexual intercourse, though it involves similar interpersonal dynamics as a relationship between sexual partners;[3][4][1][5] it has also been described as a parent responding to a child's love with adult sexuality.[6] Problems between parents often facilitate covert incest; as the parents distance themselves from each other both physically and emotionally, one parent may begin focusing on his/her child. The child becomes the surrogate partner and source of emotional support for the parent.[7] The abusing parent may also be afraid or unable to meet their needs through a relationship with another adult.[2] Alcoholism and other substance addictions are also associated with the occurrence of covert incest.[8][9]

Covert incest occurs when a parent is unable or unwilling to maintain a relationship with another adult and forces the emotional role of a spouse onto their child instead.[2] The child's needs are ignored and instead the relationship exists solely to meet the needs of the parent[10] and the adult may not be aware of the issues created by their actions.[11]

[edit] Characteristics

Main article: Incest

Covert incest has been described as a "highly sexualized parent-child relationship"; part of a continuum of incestuous behaviors that ranges from the psychological precursors to incest such as dysfunctional family systems and family role issues, to overt child sexual abuse.[12][13][14]

Covert incest is characterized by ambiguous behaviors which are inappropriately sexualized.[13] They can include 'accidental' touching,[13][14] voyeurism,[13][14] sexualized or sexually objectifying comments,[13][14] ridiculing the physical changes that accompany puberty,[13][14] exposing a child to pornographic material,[13][14] unusually strict dress codes[13][14] sexual hugs or touching[13][14] inappropriate or intrusive hygiene[14] and exposing a child to parental nudity or sexuality.[15]

In families where one or both of the parents are alcoholics, generational boundaries can become blurred, resulting in increased chance that the child may be "elevated to the position of surrogate spouse".[9] Either the alcoholic parent or the spouse may share with the child confidences and emotional interactions of the type normally shared between adult partners, thereby interfering with the child's developmental process.[9]

[edit] Effects

The harm caused by covert incest is thought to be similar to the harm caused by overt incest, though different in degree.[16][8] Kenneth Adams, author of several books on covert incest, believes it can result in relational difficulties between parents and children or sexual peers,[17] with a range of effects including:

  • Strong feelings of guilt/anger alternating with love/caring with the opposite-sex parent[17]
  • Adversarial or competitive relationship with the same-sex parent[17]
  • Inability to identify personal needs; confusion of personal with other's needs[17]
  • Chronic sense of lack of worth[17]
  • Difficulty establishing intimacy with a partner and multiple, short-term relationships with an inaibility to commit to partners[17]
  • Sexual dysfunction - either addiction or inhibited sexual desire[17]
  • Addictive behavior in work, food, or other areas[17]

[edit] Criticisms

Critics of covert incest have claimed that the concept dramatically loosens the definition of incest[10][18][19] sometimes to the point of meaninglessness,[19] making child abuse seem more prevalent than it actually is[18] and using unrealistic criteria that apply to nearly everyone.[10]

Mark Pendergrast has compared covert incest to recovered memory therapy for its ability to divide families with charges of harm or abuse.[10] Recovered memory therapy is a term coined by the False Memory Syndrome Foundation,[20] an organization that advocates on behalf of individuals who claim they have been falsely accused of child sexual abuse by their adult children,[21] and of which Pendergrast is a member.[10]

[edit] References

  1. ^ a b Jacobson, M. (2001). "Child sexual abuse and the multidisciplinary team approach: contradictions in practice". Childhood 8 (2): 231. doi:10.1177/0907568201008002006. 
  2. ^ a b c Friel, Linda D.; John C. Friel PhD.; Friel, John (1988). Adult children: the secrets of dysfunctional families. Deerfield Beach, Fla: Health Communications. ISBN 0-932194-53-2. Retrieved on 2008-04-17. 
  3. ^ Love, Patricia G.. The Emotional Incest Syndrome : What to do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life. London: Bantam. ISBN 055335275X. 
  4. ^ Woititz, Janet Geringer (1993). The Intimacy Struggle. HCI, p61. ISBN ISBN:1558742778. 
  5. ^ Woititz, Janet Geringer (1985). Struggle for-- intimacy. Deerfield Beach, Fla: Health Communications. ISBN 0-932194-25-7. Retrieved on 2008-04-17. 
  6. ^ Helfaer, Philip M. (1998). Sex and self-respect: the quest for personal fulfillment. New York: Praeger. ISBN 0-275-96185-0. 
  7. ^ Morgan, Alexander; Adams, Kenneth. When He's Married to Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment. New York: Fireside. ISBN 0-7432-9138-7. 
  8. ^ a b Barnard, Charles P. (1990). Families With an Alcoholic Member: The Invisible Patient. Human Sciences Press, p139. ISBN 0898854792. 
  9. ^ a b c Potter-Efron, Ronald T.; Patricia S. Potter-Efron (1990). Aggression, Family Violence, and Chemical Dependency. Haworth Press, p133-135,p142. ISBN 0866569642. 
  10. ^ a b c d e Pendergrast, Mark (1996). Victims of memory: sex abuse accusations and shattered lives. Hinesburg, Vt: Upper Access. ISBN 0-942679-18-0. Retrieved on 2008-04-17. 
  11. ^ Richard B. Gartner (1999). Betrayed as boys: psychodynamic treatment of sexually abused men. New York: Guilford Press. ISBN 1-57230-644-0. Retrieved on 2008-04-17. 
  12. ^ Williams, Linda Meyer; Victoria L. Banyard (1998). Trauma & Memory. Sage Publications Inc, p98. ISBN 0761907726. 
  13. ^ a b c d e f g h i Coleman, Eli (1988). Chemical dependency and intimacy dysfunction. New York: Haworth Press. ISBN 0-86656-826-3. Retrieved on 2008-04-21. 
  14. ^ a b c d e f g h i Potter-Efron, Patricia S.; Potter-Efron, Ronald T. (1988). The Treatment of shame and guilt in alcoholism counseling. New York: Haworth Press. ISBN 0-86656-718-6. Retrieved on 2008-04-21. 
  15. ^ Okami P, Olmstead R, Abramson PR, Pendleton L (1998). "Early childhood exposure to parental nudity and scenes of parental sexuality ("primal scenes"): an 18-year longitudinal study of outcome". Arch Sex Behav 27 (4): 361–84. PMID 9681119. 
  16. ^ Herman, Judith Lewis; Lisa Hirschman (2000). Father-daughter incest. Harvard University Press, p125. ISBN 0674002709. 
  17. ^ a b c d e f g h Adams, Kenneth (1991). Silently Seduced : When Parents Make their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest. HCI. ISBN 1558741313. Retrieved on 2008-04-14. 
  18. ^ a b Bjorklund, David F. (2000). False-memory creation in children and adults: theory, research, and implications. Hillsdale, N.J: L. Erlbaum. ISBN 0-8058-3169-X. 
  19. ^ a b Kaminer, Wendy (1993). I'm dysfunctional, you're dysfunctional: the recovery movement and other self-help fashions. New York: Vintage Books, 27. ISBN 0-679-74585-8. 
  20. ^ Whitfield, Charles L.; Joyanna L. Silberg, Paul Jay Fink (2001). Misinformation Concerning Child Sexual Abuse and Adult Survivors. Haworth Press, p56. ISBN 0789019019. 
  21. ^ Dallam, Stephanie J. (2001). "Crisis or Creation: A Systematic Examination of 'False Memory Syndrome'". Journal of Child Sexual Abuse Vol 9; No. 3/4, pp. 9-36. Haworth Press. 
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