Christian Rock Hard

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“Christian Rock Hard”
South Park episode

Faith +1 first album cover
Episode no. Season 7
Episode 105
Written by Trey Parker
Directed by Trey Parker
Production no. 709
Original airdate October 29, 2003
Season 7 episodes
South Park - Season 7
March 19, 2003 – December 17, 2003
  1. I'm a Little Bit Country
  2. Krazy Kripples
  3. Toilet Paper
  4. Cancelled
  5. Fat Butt and Pancake Head
  6. Lil' Crime Stoppers
  7. Red Man's Greed
  8. South Park Is Gay!
  9. Christian Rock Hard
  10. Grey Dawn
  11. Casa Bonita
  12. All About Mormons
  13. Butt Out
  14. Raisins
  15. It's Christmas in Canada
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List of South Park episodes

"Christian Rock Hard" is episode 709 of Comedy Central's South Park. It originally aired on October 29, 2003. The fact that the episode suggests illegal downloading is an acceptable practice reflects the genuine belief of the creators, who have no problem with episodes of the show being downloaded.[1] However, Viacom exercised their licensing rights to have videos of recent South Park episodes pulled from YouTube.

Contents

[edit] Plot

When the other boys kick Cartman out of their band, "Moop", for suggesting that they play Christian rock, Cartman forms his own group to make music not for Jesus or spiritual rewards, but to profit from the wide audience for this kind of music. Cartman and Kyle bet each other $10 that their respective band will be the first to go platinum by selling one million records.

Stan, Kyle and Kenny, seeking "inspiration", decide to download free (and illegal) music from the Internet (because CDs are too expensive) and they are charged by the FBI for illegal downloading. A man later revealed to be Sergeant Yates shows them how serious the consequences of downloading can be, as musicians like Lars Ulrich (drummer of metal band Metallica) and Britney Spears are not paid and therefore are so affected by loss of income from music piracy that they must substitute extremely luxurious purchases for slightly less luxurious ones or wait until they can afford an extremely luxurious purchase (Lars wants to have a gold-plated shark tank bar installed next to his pool, but must now wait a few months, and Britney does not have the sufficient funds to keep a Gulfstream IV, so she replaces it with a smaller Gulfstream III, which doesn't have a remote control for its surround sound DVD system). As budding musicians, Moop decides to go on strike until fans stop downloading and are joined by a large number of pop and rock stars, including Britney Spears, Ozzy Osbourne, Missy Elliott, Master P, Blink-182, Metallica, Alanis Morissette, Meatloaf and Skylar's band (Lords of The Underworld) from the season three episode "Cat Orgy" and the season four episode "Timmy 2000".

Meanwhile, Cartman, Butters and Token (who, according to Cartman, can play bass because he is black, and it turns out that he can) have rocketed to the top of the Christian rock charts, with Cartman simply tweaking the lyrics of love ballads, changing words such as "Baby" to "Jesus". While effective, the band eventually comes under some scrutiny when one of the songs involves more passionate lyrics. Cartman manages to manipulate his way out and the band continues in its success.

Their band, Faith + 1, soon celebrates the sale of its millionth album. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny realize that the satisfaction of having fans should surely be more important to musicians than fighting against fans, who make them popular and come to see their concerts (a reference to Trey Parker's and Matt Stone's beliefs that people should be happy that their show is watched, no matter how it's done). They decide that touring still brings in revenue and decide to stop striking. However, the other (more famous) musicians decline, saying "sorry, we're in it for the money".

At an expensive awards ceremony to celebrate Faith + 1's success, their record label present them with a myrrh album. This means Kyle hasn't lost the bet; Christian record companies only hand out gold, frankincense and myrrh records, so Cartman can never have a platinum album (but can "go double myrrh"). (This rule applies only in the South Park universe; in real life, Christian artists can indeed receive platinum records.) Cartman's frustration gets the myrrh album destroyed and leads him to scream "God damn it!" as well as "Oh, fuck Jesus!", making the fans scream and flee. Butters then says, "Eric, I'm pretty sure you shouldn't say the 'F' word about Jesus". Token becomes mad because Cartman had spent all of the band's record profits on the elaborate ceremony and was now driving away their fans. Cartman doesn't care and calls Token a "black asshole". Driven to the breaking point, Token mercilessly beats Cartman to the ground and walks away. The boys feel that Cartman got what he deserved and leave. As Cartman is on the ground in pain, Butters hesitates, then farts in his face, gives him the finger and says "Fuck you, Eric!" before leaving Cartman to recover from his beating alone.

[edit] Faith +1 album track listing

  1. "The Body of Christ"
  2. "Christ Again"
  3. "A Night with the Lord"
  4. "Touch Me Jesus"
  5. "I Found Jesus (With Someone Else)"
  6. "Saviour Self"
  7. "Christ What a Day"
  8. "I Wasn't Born Again Yesterday"
  9. "Three Times My Savior"
  10. "Jesus Touched Me"
  11. "Pleasing Jesus"


[edit] Cultural references

[edit] References

Wikiquote has a collection of quotations related to:
  1. ^ FAQ Archives #13232. South Park Studios (2003-08). Retrieved on 2007-10-18. “Matt and Trey do not mind when fans download their episodes off the Internet; they feel that it’s good when people watch the show no matter how they do it.”


Preceded by
“South Park Is Gay!”		 South Park episodes Followed by
“Grey Dawn”
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