User:Bnlmarshie
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Quite the guy, some would say. BNLmarshie is the epitome of manliness. He slays alligators and bears on a daily basis. Once, the moon fell and it was none other than our hero BNLmarshie who caught it and tossed it back up into the sky. He is a certified Jedi, once the padawan of the great Sam Barto, lord and savior of all.
He can dance a mean watoosie.
He is also a mode of transportation. Ever hear anyone say, "Hey, why don't we take the BNLmarshie out to the coffee house for some decaf lattes?" No. You don't. Because if anybody should take his name in vain, BNLmarshie will be there to pounce on them like a leopard on that gazelle that happens to be straggling behind (I don't know if leopards actually eat gazelle, it's not my area of expertise).
BNLmarshie does not approve of Chuck Norris or his policies.
You can't control BNLmarshie. He has a doomsday device implanted in his head. It kills all life everywhere. That means you, you dirty Neptunians!
His favorite food is grapes and he can't ice skate. He hates long walks on the beach but enjoys short walks with a bitch. He can fly. He's in your breakfast cereal. You breathe him in everytime you enter a bowling alley. He will burn your house down if you say a certain sentence. I can't tell you what it is or else he'll burn my house down, too.
Some consider him to be the oldest apple tree in New Jersey. His backyard is a national monument. Don't walk on it.
He can't pronounce quid pro quo, but doesn't have to, since he's above the law.
Never ask him for the time.
He will sign autographs if you're a slammin' hottie. He hates uggos. HATES THEM!!!
He brings people to pet stores to play with the puppies on their 69th birthdays. He loves kittens. And hamsters. Parakeets weird him out.
Sometimes BNLmarshie dresses up like Charlie Brown and dances at Times Square. Don't interrupt him, or his personal defense satellite will take you out with a plasma cannon. TO THE FACE!!!
He wishes on a star every night for a midget to be his best friend.
He appreciates what the Eggo company is doing.
He can't go swimming in the state of Nevada. Gives him the willies.
BNLmarshie once thought that 3 was a letter and obliterated his kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Scott's legs for correcting him. Do not oppose him!
Under no circumstances should you quote scripture to him.
He loves the movies Bambi and Groundhog day. He once watched Bambi one thousand times in a row so that he could combine the nature of the two movies. He went comatose.
He will save the world as long as you keep your distance. And send him a birthday card.
Thank you for reading, enjoy your life.
