Talk:Battle of Pease River

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	Battle of Pease River was a nominee for good article, but did not meet the good article criteria at the time. There are suggestions below for improving the article. Once these issues have been addressed, the article can be renominated. Editors may also seek a reassessment of the decision if they believe there was a mistake.
July 15, 2007 Good article nominee Not listed

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[edit] Twisting History

I am no expert, but I tend to believe Quanah Parker that his father did not die at Pease River. Isn't it fascinating how the winners make history? This sounds like a wholesale massacre of men, women, and kids, and it is presented as a "Battle" in most history books! Nice job! Stillstudying 12:09, 21 June 2007 (UTC)

Stillstudying I agree, and all too many of the so-called battles in the indian wars were similiar massacres. Thanks on the thought I did a good job. old windy bear 20:10, 21 June 2007 (UTC)

OWB, don't worry about it. The article fits NPOV standards--it's just facts. And usually, the winner of a battle, war, etc. gets to name it. If we changed it to "Massacre of Pease River" no one might know it. By the way, I don't think that the background of Cynthia Parker should be a part of the article. Although an interesting fork to the article, she isn't really germane to the battle. Orangemarlin 21:00, 11 July 2007 (UTC)

Orangemarlin I agree and I went back and changed the article to reflect that. I left enough info so that people knew why the public at the time regarded her "rescue" as national news and a cause for rejoicing. Sadly, she was busy starving herself to death while they were still passing bills giving her money and land! Thanks for your help in getting this article improved! old windy bear 02:49, 13 July 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Good article nomination failed

This article is stable and neutral. However, (1) it needs more inline citations, (2) needs a broader coverage, and (3) should use a more encyclopedic writing style.

(1) Many more inline citations are needed to support what is being said, and a consistent referencing style should be used throughout. Ideally, references to a book should include a page number where possible, especially when supporting a direct quote. Long quotes should be indented and set off from the main text for readability.

(2) The article bogs down with too much detail, especially when discussing whether or not Peta Nocona died at Pease River or got away. I noticed an early edit summary which described the article as "... part of a series on the Comanche wars and the Republic of Texas" and this sort of background material would have helped to put the Battle in context.

(3) The article in some parts seems like story-telling, and a more formal tone is needed. Especially in the middle part of the article there are many long paragraphs, and long and complicated sentences, with multiple commas. These need to be edited quite heavily and some detail should go.

I found the last paragraph of the article to be confusing and wonder if it should be omitted. -- Johnfos 11:02, 15 July 2007 (UTC)

Johnfos I appreciated the critique, and when (and if) I return I will address these issues, especially the citing, and get the article up to snuff. I particularly appreciate the detailed listing of what needs to be done, it makes correcting it easier, whether it is myself or someone else. To me this is a particularly interesting subject, because of the genuine controversy over whether Peta Nocona did die at Pease River, Thanks again, old windy bear 01:44, 16 July 2007 (UTC)

A couple of suggestions. First, go to WP:CITET and begin adding references in a consistent manner, utilizing the templates. It cleans up the article, allows casual readers to find relevant sources, and is a standard that is part of the whole GA process. Second, you need more references, even if it comes from 3-4 sources only. Just refer to them over and over. Usually, every paragraph deserves a reference. Finally, the paragraphs are too long. Each of your paragraphs are almost a section or subsection by themselves. That's my opinion :) Orangemarlin 08:04, 21 July 2007 (UTC)