User talk:62.171.194.41

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== Clip on ties ==


A clip on tie, the most wonderful accessory I could care to think about:

• Clip it on your ear

• Clip it on your tongue

• Clip it on your ‘ding dang doodle’

Even more radical clip it on your shirt. That way instead of being ‘penutted’ and strangled to death by the school bully, you can have all the buttons on your shirt ripped off in a crazed ginger assault, or an attempt to pull it off… every other day of the week.


And then we come to people who hoard other people’s ties. These people clearly have no idea of the irony that they inflict upon you. So replace your tie, this traditional icon of our country, with a cheap imitation. These can be easily stolen from those weirdo Nazi students; unfortunately for you they then devote this action to their shrine honouring Hitler. So you get told off for allowing a Nazi crime to happen, and carted off to a government institution to suffer a slow and drawn out death at the hands of the Earl of Sussex.


But despite the obvious drawbacks a clip on tie is a vital protection aid against the likes of Mad Cow Disease and Bird Flu (H5N1), this is much like how tucking in our shirts somehow magically protect us against kidney failure. In the middle of the artic where would you be without this trusty piece of thermal equipment? Or in the reaches of Outer Mongolia with a trusty sub-machine gun and clip on tie bandana, a’la Rambo.


A worthwhile piece of clothing, I’m sure…