User talk:156.110.42.22

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[edit] Edits to Paul (Pokémon)

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[edit] Royal Knights

"reminisce"
First off, wrong spelling. Second off, that's not what they're doing - reminisce is when you "sit back and remember the good old days". Yggdrasil is making a case for humanity's destruction. Those are two very different things.

"Human World"
No need for it to be capitalized, as the correct name is "Earth", anyway.

"Later"
unneeded, as we already have "again" in that same phrase

"substitues"
First off, wrong spelling. Second off, substitutes usually implies that the first person will be back - if a teacher quits and is replaced, you don't call the new one a substitute teacher, you call it your new teacher.

"Worlds"
again, no need to be capitalized, as it's not a proper title.

"aids the DATS escape into the Human World."
They weren't really trying to escape (they hadn't had time to reach that though yet, anyway - the Royal Knights were very sudden), so "aiding" and "escape" are not appropriate. Further more, it's not "into" the human world, as they are still on the surface. It would just be "to".

"Decimate"
Wrong. Decimate means to kill one out of every ten of a group, or a similar percentage. Look up the term - it has nothing to do with merely defeating someone. The "with one attack" has no relevance, as we have no verifiability for that anyway - he could have been about to do several attacks. All we know is that he was about to finish them off.

"thwarted"
no, he is interrupted. Again, these are very different things.

"convsere"
What the hell is this supposed to mean?

"stalemated draw"
again, what the hell? even then - they do not come to a draw. Sleipmon succeeds in what he is trying to do. A stalemate, a draw, and that battle are three entirely different things.

"as both knights frozen in ice falling"
see last two - what the hell? Wrong tense, missing commas.

"Cranniummon weakens...causing"
No. It doesn't force them to, it's a reason for them to do it - they could have just let him be crushed. Unless it's an actual cause (and not just a reason), then you use "so".

"stops the assault"
No he doesn't, he interrupts it.

"DATS's"
why do you have an apostrophe s? there's no reason for it. And again, into is wrong.

"stops the assualt of Gallantmon"
no, he doesn't - Gallantmon keeps fighting until they fall into the sea.

"Sleipmon is seen"
NO HE ISN'T. Kudamon is. Sleipmon is a form of Kudamon, he is not Kudamon himself.

"In the series, the Royal Knights are ordered to destroy the Human World, due to Yggdrasil's accusation against humanity, reminicing mankinds actions and causing the fate of the Digital World to hang in the balance, as it set to collide with the Human World. "
Confusingly worded, for one. At least two spelling errors, four grammar errors, and inappropriate wording. It leaves out the full reason that Yggdrasil wants humanity destroyed - it's not just the imminent collision. It also ignores the backstory with Suguru completely, which is a large part of the decision.

"The Knights' destruction of the human world begins shortly afterwards, resulting in confrontational batlles with the DATS's, leading to some of the Knights' (Gallantmon, Crusadermon and Duftmon) downfall. Craniummon is later defeated by the DATS, showing him that his "sovereign" Yggdrasil was not absolute."
It did not result, it included. "DATS's" is incorrect - why do you even include an apostrophe s? "leading", if included, should be "resulted", and Gallantmon doesn't have a "downfall". He is incapacitated, nothing more. Furthermore, "downfall" should be "downfalls". The "" around sovereign are inappropriate, as Yggdrasil is not a false god or king, just an imperfect god. He is still very much their sovereign.

Overall, there's no real reason to change anything that was there, besides tense.

"Craniummon then heads to the Human World, substituting for BanchouLeomon, who's holding apart the two worlds. "
"heads" implies that he only starts - we see him get there, so he "goes". Substituting is inappropriate, as said before. "who's" is incorrect tense, as BanchouLeomon is no longer doing it, and "apart the two worlds" is just iffy - there is no good reason to change it from what it was.

On to your comments:

"people the reminisce means -to recollect and tell of past experiences or events. you guys need to look up terms more, instead of seeing it as foriegn!"
This is not only childish, but it contains multiple grammar and spelling errors, which doesn't lend to your credibility.

"decimate- means to kill in large number, or all at once,again look up terms you don't know at dictionary.com, the article needs to be more broad, the battled ended in a draw!)"
Again, childish and confrontational. It did not end in a draw - Sleipmon succeeded, even if he didn't outright kill Gallantmon. In a stalemate, both sides lose (or in a draw, in which they both resign) - Sleipmon succeeded in incapacitating Gallantmon, and even managed to get him to defect while they were frozen. Hardly a draw or stalemate.

"more broad, we know they only battled shortly and it ended in a tie, neither of them won nor loss! leave it as that!)"
Again, childish and confrontational. Furthermore, Sleipmon won, especially because his goal was NOT to kill Gallantmon, it was merely to stop him, which he succeeded in.

I will ask, once again that you both take extra English lessons with your teachers, as most of the time, when you claim you are improving the grammar and spelling, you are actually making it worse, and that you either cease the childish and confrontational behavior, or leave the article. As you are acting now, you are not being helpful.KrytenKoro 22:17, 5 July 2007 (UTC)

Sleipmon "aiding" them would entail that he helped the DATS fight the Royal Knights, but he only spirited them away.
Reminiscing implies wistful remembrance - like when you talk with an old friend about your old exploits. It is a very different kind of thing from making the case for something's destruction - Yggdrasil is not recounting these atrocities merely to talk about them, he is using them as examples of why humanity must be destroyed.
"substitute" - BanchouLeomon never came back.
Again - stop the bloody "!" and confrontational behavior. If something is a spelling error, just correct it. There's no need to shout about it.KrytenKoro